Courtesy of... https://twitter.com/#!/funnyoneliners
- Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia. - I thought watching Hoarders would encourage me to clean up. But all I could think was, "Hey, my place ain't that bad!" - Old people on Twitter are called "tweezers." - Is any dance more positive than the can-can? - My boss is one in a million. I'm just hoping this lightning storm thinks so too.. - Most accidents happen at home? Maybe I should move. - If Microsoft Word has taught me anything it's that if I want to get a point across, I need to use bullets. - What we should really fear is unidentified landing objects. - If you have a split personality I can't be friends with you. Or you. - "Failed to forward chain letter to 5 friends" Is what I want my tombstone to read. - Our leaders can't see the forest or the trees. - Some people are motivated by carrots, others by sticks. But nobody is motivated by carrot sticks. - You autocomplete me. - I choose butter over margarine because I trust cows more than I trust chemists. - You call it it multiple personalities, I call it social networking in my head. Have a good weekend - Andrew. <font face="monospace"size="-3"><br>The information transmitted is intended only for the person or entity to which it is addressed and <br>may contain confidential and/or privileged material. If the reader of this message is not the intended<br>recipient, you are hereby notified that your access is unauthorized, and any review, dissemination,<br>distribution or copying of this message including any attachments is strictly prohibited. If you are not<br>the intended recipient, please contact the sender and delete the material from any computer.<br> _______________________________________________________________________________ UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at www.arslist.org attend wwrug12 www.wwrug12.com ARSList: "Where the Answers Are"
