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Quotes
taken from United
States Federal Government employee
performance
evaluations.
1.
"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom &
has started to dig."
2. "I would not allow this employee
to breed."
3. "This employee is really not so
much of a has-been, but more of definite won't
be."
4. "Works well when under constant
supervision & cornered like a rat in a
trap."
5. "When she opens her mouth,
it seems that it is only to change feet."
6.
"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
7. "He sets low
personal standards & then consistently fails to achieve
them."
8. "This employee is depriving a
village somewhere of an idiot."
9. "This employee
should go far, & the sooner he starts, the
better."
10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic
thingy to hold it all together."
11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than
an ordinary ignoramus."
12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a
carrier."
13. "I would like to go hunting with him
sometime."
14. "He's been working with glue too
much."
15. "He would argue with a
sign
post."
16. "He brings a
lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
17. "When his IQ reaches
50, he should sell."
18. "If you see two people talking & one
looks bored, he's the other
one."
19. "A
photographic memory but with the lens cover glued
on."
20. "A prime candidate for natural
de-selection."
21. "Donated his brain to science before he was
done using it."
22. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing,
but the train isn't coming."
23. "He's got two brain cells, one is lost
& the other is out looking for it."
24. "If he were any more
stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a
week."
25. "If you give him a penny for his
thoughts, you'd get change."
26. "If you stand close enough to him,
you can hear the ocean."
27. "It's hard to believe he beat out
1,000,000 other sperm."
28. "Some drink from the fountain of
knowledge; he only gargled."
29. "Takes him 2 hours to watch
'60-minutes'."
30. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is
dead." |
