Very well said. In fact it is the best, most accurate and to the point piece I have ever read on the subject.
Great job Amlan. cm At 11:21 PM -0500 1/10/08, Amlan Saha wrote: >Ram Sarangapani wrote: > >> quality airports, good roads, and last, but not the least of all, make sure >> women visitors are safe in the macho streets of Mumbai, Delhi & Kolkata. > > > >India is not, I repeat not, going to become safer for women, especially >for those who want to be treated just like another free human being >anytime soon and by that I mean not in the next couple of decades >probably. > >I had to comment on this one because I feel strongly about it. > >I judge a country, culture, civilization and all aspects that dovetail >such concepts by one and only one yardstick and that happens to be - the >freedom of a woman in that society. Note that it is not "respect" for >women that I care for but "freedom". Having respect is good but what is >more important is freedom. We have a lot of dodgy "respect" for women >in most Islamic countries but very little freedom. In India this is >often worse because on paper and by the constitution everyone is equal. > But the society is so wretched and disgusting that that is hardly ever >the case. The society may be great for some and may have done >supposedly awesome things in the past but if the women are not free, in >my books, that society is vile and worthless. > >The sexuality of an Indian woman is, in the vast majority of the cases, >owned (either outright dictated or subtly nudged or pressured) by just >about everyone in the family except her - the husband, his in-laws, the >village elders, her parents, the brothers, other self-appointed wizened >ones/neighbors/relatives etc etc. Young people rarely ever have the >avenues and the opportunities to meet, mingle, and experiment in life. >Even within a marriage it is not supposed to be for pleasure but for >procreation! Right from choosing the partner to the sending of the >symbolic glass of milk, just about aspect of a woman's life is charted >out for her by everyone except her. > >Is it any surprise that such a country is unsafe for single women >traveling alone or going about their lives on their own? No amount of >public policy or intervention from the government can do anything about >all the pent up frustrations among the males in the society. I, >therefore, do not think that the police, who are often themselves >lecherous, or the government can do anything about it. Besides, they >often tie themselves up in a knot trying to handle simple things like >whether or not to extend spousal treatment to Sarkozy's girlfriend. > >So long as the society remains as judgmental as it is, nothing is going >to change. > >Often I find, and often so in the US, educated and supposedly >enlightened Indians rebutting me on the above that women are free in >India, especially these days, to do whatever they want. I then ask them >about their sisters and they quickly get defensive not only about the >FACT that their sisters studied at a local college while they (males) >were sent to study at a faraway (and a better) college or that their >sisters would never have been allowed to travel alone. It gets even >more farcical when they defend the case for how they should be able to >provide inputs about whom their sisters should choose as partners but >not the other way round. > >When I traveled in India last winter (after almost a decade and thus >expected things to be different) with my girlfriend, we found that the >most pleasant places were those that did NOT have what many would call >"main-stream" Indians. Darjeeling and Sikkim were awesome - no one >batted an eyelid who you were or what you did; bars were cool (very >balanced gender mix); and most important no one gawked at her the way it >was in disgusting West Bengal, Delhi, and a lot of cities elsewhere in >India. > >Insofar as hope for India is concerned, I take heart at the fact that >divorces are shooting through the roof in India, at least in urban >India. For me, such divorces, largely fueled by the new-found >financial freedom of women, is a great thing to happen in the Indian >society. In the past because women outside of marriage had no financial >freedom they would have put up with suppressive and oppressive husbands >and in-laws. With a career of their own that the new economy, slowly >but surely, is affording them, they can at last walk out on their >husbands far more easily than Indian women ever have been able to. > >I am sure things will change but not anytime soon. > >_______________________________________________ >assam mailing list >[email protected] >http://assamnet.org/mailman/listinfo/assam_assamnet.org _______________________________________________ assam mailing list [email protected] http://assamnet.org/mailman/listinfo/assam_assamnet.org
