Hi,
Today I am dog tired, eyes burning from lack of sleep. Just completed 4 hours of part time work at the newspaper rack - but raring to go. Its 5pm now. I was working standing all the time - and had a 4 hour class before that. Had slept at 3am and got up at 7am. And this process has been going on for sometime -except holidays.
I do not mind it and neither do I get worried -about being able to do all work successfully - in such a state.
That is becos I remember my cousin in July and Aug 2004 -just before I came to US - while looking after him in the night shift 10 pm to 10 am in the ICU. It required much greater concentration - constant vigil at his breathing and blood pressure.
During daytime I snatched a couple of hours continuous sleep and focused on learning the basics of academic writing at the online workshop by Harvard.
When there were emergencies - his blood pressure falling to dangerous levels -and I hardly got any sleep during daytime.
So that work has empowered me to take on the workload here.
I may add that not all students here need to do part time work -since they have enough funds- and not all students have to study so hard -since they do not want to take up doctoral work later on or bother about good grades -and not all students have such lack of connections in US as me -so don't have to bother about getting their bearings here.
But the cousin of mine - may his soul rest in peace - I feel is around me here, maybe so is my grandmother -- pulling me on. I had a strange dream about her - soon after I came here. Maybe it is the architectural marvel -the Mt Auburn Cemetry - with its renowned garden like campus- which reminds me of the difference between life and death.
Struggle is a sign of life.
Is it?
Umesh
PS: Tonight I struggle with watching a movie on the VCR in the library followed by free international food at the multi cultural festival.
My cousin'e wife has been caught alongwith her lover and is in Jaipur jail. Their children are with my father.
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