Dear All,
I am really baffled to see the seriousness of all of
you over the burning topic. Let us deviate a little
bit from the main stream & have some fun. Please go
through the following article on a fictitious PUNJAB
AIRWAYS:
PUNJAB AIRWAYS
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your
Captain Santa Singh welcoming you to Punjab Airways.We
apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, owing
to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the
bakery. This is flight no. 126 to Ludhiana. Landing in
Ludhiana is not guaranteed, but we will end up
somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favor, we
may even be landing on your village !
Punjab Airways has an excellent record for safety.In
fact our safety standards are so high that even the
fully trained terrorists and hijackers are afraid to
fly with us !
It is with pleasure I announce that starting this
year over 50% of our passengers have reached their
destination. For the ones that don't quite make it,
Punjab Airways staff has all the requisite experience
for consoling the next-of-kin. Our Hostess Bubbly will
be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement
policies.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger
request, we can arrange to turn them off ! To make
your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we
serve complimentary tea and biscuits .
For our religious passengers, we are the only airline
who can help you find out if there really is a God !
We regret to inform you that today's in-flight movie
will not be
shown as we forgot to record it from the television.
But for our movie buffs,
we will be flying right next to United Airlines, where
their movie will be visible from the right side of
the cabin window. For this purpose, we have also put a
binocular under your seat.
There is no smoking in this airplane. Any smoke you
see in the cabin is only the early warning system on
the engines telling us to slow down!Life jackets are
positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes
are made available to the aunties and swimming shorts
to the uncles,for emergency jumps ! In order to catch
important landmarks, we try to fly as close as
possible for the best view. If, however, we go a
little too close do let us know. Our enthusiastic
co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright
position for take off and fasten your belts. For those
of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your
own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you
who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch
with a flight attendant for your arrangement to sit on
the bathroom seat. If you do sit there, please do not
flush frequently because it may result in the shortage
of the water we require to make you tea.
Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today because I
have to attend my nephew's wedding. But please make
yourself at home and help yourself to the cockpit.
Thank you for choosing Punjab Airways !!
REGARDS
SUSHIL KUMAR MISHRA
__________________________________
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