Re: Beyond the Bullet (for those who want to play)
I've been working on this metaphor for a while, let me see if I can do it right this time.
There are four types of game developers.
1: Gods.
2: Great devs.
3: alright, that's good and I'll give a look to it, devs that while are not great are respected.
4: fuck off forever, stupid fuck targeted devs that will get shot at because of past issues.
My worry that I will get bashed is not because of this up clone purely, I know I'll get bashed for an up clone. The worry is that when I say, release the next version of streets of chaos, you people are going to say hey, this isn't as good as stw or redspot, plus it's developed by you, so I don't like it because of that. THe comparison with sam is because he's a god. He's loved by all of you and half of the people that are on this forum would play absolutely anything he makes, even if it was a clone of target for god's sake. Constructive criticism is good, for th
at topic. If you're like hey, this really pisses me off that uh, there's ghosts shooting me, please fix it, I would take that as constructive criticism. If you're like hey, your game has a bug so I hate you, @34, you're gonna not come across as constructive. And the issue here is that I have a reputation and knowing this place I will never be able to shake it. That's the thing. I'm not sam, he's perfect and you all love him, sam with oriol and danny are the gods. Mason's a good coder, cae's a great one, I'm a stupid fuck. It's too late. No matter what I do now, I'm gonna get bashed for it. DO you realize I think about suicide every single day and I've compiled a goddamned tally of reasons I wanna die? Releasing up clones is not one of them. Being hated forever because I participated in that is one of them. That's not saying you shouldn't criticize me, everybody needs it and you're not going to bring me c
loser to death by doing so. But I've fucked up my whole life and I just wait for the end of it all. I think of releasing games such as streets of chaos, and here's the thought that comes into my mind. Remember, you're hated by everyone on that forum. You release it you're gonna get 2 players that say nothing, 3 that give you feedback, and 20 that hate you because you're you. And also, sam has the source too because I got backstabbed. Meaning that, if I released it, people would just say hey, where's sam's version. I want the version from a god. And another thing, why I keep releasing up clones. Two reasons. One, I liked up and get bored out of my mind just waiting for something to do, and two, I have the inability to create something from scratch. I can only edit. Even streets of chaos was that. Lucas coded the walking system and the weapons and the cars, I did the rest. And nik I believe coded items or half of them. And ya know, there's actua
lly some decent original things in there now, like cops, an active fighter helicopter that can do multiple things, and an overall good playing experience minus the ghost items, god damn I gotta get rid of those. But I can't release it because I've been slammed by sam and I'll get bashed because I'm me upon release. And I can't be creative, that faded a long time ago when I lost hope in life and a few other things flew away with that. 3 years ago, to be precise. And everybody says, these thoughts are a choice. They don't get me. I surrendered my mind a long time ago, no thoughts are my choice. Depression isn't my choice, these feelings aren't my choice, even dying isn't my choice and I wish with all my heart it was. I try to gain respect so I'm sort of looked at by this community as a slower person that needs to get off the ground. In no way do I think you should say this is great when I release an up clone, or that I should be babied
. I have mental health issues and no creativity, so I try to do something with my coding abilities because it's all I can do. I have no life and I want you people to be my life. I want some way to be happy and liked by people. But is that gonna happen? No! This whole post was fucking pointless and now you are going to laugh at me because I have feelings. The dudes in this community do not like it when people have feelings.
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