Re: Making It Right
Your extremely thoughtful and intelligent when it comes down to it, more than most. Every now and then you'll make a post and really break shit down calmly, and it always makes me rethink my image of you.
I just wish that what ever in your life has made you so quick to anger and snap judge your self and others so harshly wouldn't have happened to you.
I think you handle it alright most times especially for someone who is unmedicated, even if you use the internet to vent or tend to keep kicking someone when their down too long because you feel like they deserve it, when I often don't see the punishment fitting the crime.
You may be just as good as you say at reading people though, I don't know. But it seems like you expect everyone to fit into your rules that day or face your very public wrath, which can easilyturn the mob against them.
I'm not going to say I hate drama, but you seem to revel in it sometimes and I just, don't get that. When you put someone on blast you tend to throw some positives or disclaimers in their too and I think that's cool, but the way in which you present your self and the almost loving detail you seem to put into insulting people really overshadows that, even if it gets the teens all hot and bothered.
I mean not everybody likes fighting when it's not strictly necessary, and I don't really think that's something worth ridiculing unless their dishing it out too.
I'm sorry if some things I've said in the past made you feel like a bad person, because I don't really think you are, just very different from me in some key areas. we're both pretty impulsive, and I'm still pretty naive about the world, so it takes me time to figure more complex people like you out.
Still feel like I haven't even scratched the surface with you though, and maybe that's what makes me so upset, the inability to put you in a box, which isn't really fair either.
I can tell we both have our good and bad days, and when we both have bad days it tends to make us snipe at each other more. I feel bad about that but I'm not sure how to stop it.
I do also realize how annoying I can be sometimes, and even if it gets under my skin when your more dickish about it, I do appreciate the heads up, I still have allot of growing left after all...
I really don't like some of the stuff you've said, because I feel like some concepts are just too toxic and easy to latch on to especially when your younger, and I don't want the offhand jaded stuff you yell about to give anyone ideas they haven't fully flushed out for them selves, but I'd be lying to my self if I claimed I never privately think those same sorts of things too.
Like I mentioned before, there is probably some projection happening on my part, and maybe I still have a bit too much of a rose tint to my outlook, but I guess that's just me being scared to give in to the niolism.
I don't know if we could ever be friends in real life, but I'd definitely be pretty sad if I heard you died in some freak mudding accident or something.
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