Re: questions about dating and atraction

My answer to your first question is simple: you'll know. Emotional tendencies towards someone become plainly apparent to you.
Secondly, attraction is attraction, and don't let anybody tell you what you can and cannot be attracted by.
Quite honestly, I don't know that being sighted has much to do with being stupid when it comes to relationships - I couldn't handle dating just anybody. In fact, I'm not into this whole "dating" scheme of things. Going on a date to me is just hanging out but with the expectation you'll get lucky after you've gone to dinner and a movie; is that what people do nowadays? I feel like Tinder blew that whole societal view of a typical date out the window. Once people felt like they had a legitimate way to have sex without pressure to wow the other person, I feel like the idea of dinner/movie/playtime crumbled, but maybe that's just me.
In any case, if you can find a person (male/female/other, it's 2019, as the kids say) who you find physically attractive and you are emotionally connected to in a healthy way, you've struck more gold than the folks in 1849. I say physically attracted to as in physique, hair color, etc. I personally put redheads at the top of my list because that's what I find most attractive. It goes redheads, blondes, brunettes, and black-haired girls. And what do you know, I'm blind. There's also a difference between not being attracted to somebody who's bigger and fat shaming. Humans are humans, and this idea that you should be ashamed of yourself because you're not physically attracted to literally every human being that exists on planet Earth is laughably ridiculous. It's all about balance. Don't base your decision solely on physical appearance, but don't exclude it from the equation, either.
It's interesting to see how blind people handle attraction. For sighted people, it's more of a person's looks. For blind people, it's more of a person's voice. Believe me, there's a lot of shallow blind people out there, because, and I know this will be shocking, blind people are humans too. I've been flirted with by plenty females who found my voice attractive, and I wanted nothing to do with 90% of them. They were mostly interested in me talking more-so than what I was saying. It made for some satisfying fun at times, but it was that shameful "I know what I did is in my past" kind of fun. Full disclosure, I am a heartbreaker (as in I'm picky, I don't enjoy hurting people emotionally). I'm in it for more of the physical satisfaction, because having a strong connection with someone requires a lot for me.
I say emotionally connected to in a healthy way for a very good reason -- toxic love is a thing. You want to have a healthy connection with the person you're interested in. Far too many people find themselves in predicaments where the one they love isn't any good for them for one reason or another. Perhaps their significant other is abusive, manipulative, so on and so forth. I can't stand when people say "why don't you just leave them? It's that simple..." Uh, yeah. Of course the person who has no emotional stake in the matter is going to assert how simple they think it is to just up and leave. Without giving regard to the strong feelings one has for another, your opinion isn't valid and you're not helping. That in no way makes it okay for that person continuing to be abused or manipulated, but it's hard to sever ties with someone you do have that connection with. Don't feel like you need to intertwine this with physical relationships. Some people will argue that you should have an emotional connection to a person to have sex. I personally call BS, but that's me. If you agree or disagree, okay, no sweat. Do what makes you comfortable. As long as both of you are on the same page, it doesn't matter. I can't stress enough how important it is to have that open line of communication. The last thing you want is to make the other person uncomfortable emotionally or physically, so have that conversation. Make sure that if you expect it to be a physical relationship with no emotional strings, you communicate that to that person. You owe it to them and yourself to be honest about your intentions. Otherwise, you'll probably wind up hurting them, and that's a terrible thing, so [be honest!]

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