Re: Satire Topic for Recent Forum Events
Honestly the only problem I have with it is that it's just kinda shitty satire.
I mean either way the teens are gonna eat it up because they are easily amused and enjoy a good punching bag, but your making it incredibly obvious who and what your talking about, really jsut rehashing the story in a weird way rather than actually making a new story out of it with elements that point back to or a plot that parallels the original with minimal direct references to it.
You were spelling it out by explaining the computer and headphones for instance, which just makes the reader feel as if your explaining it to a five year old.
It simply drags on and on, there are spelling mistakes, and with the amount of sudo old English you use it just seems like your trying too hard.
Now I'm not saying I could do much better with old English, but I know better than to try as well LOL.
It's supposed to be more vague man, and with such a small community, you'd be better off going for a smaller target or letting things cool down first and then remind people of it while slowly revealing the hints along the way. This interpretation of satire just feels like getting hit by a sledge hammer, there is no finesse to it.
Maybe check out the onion for some pretty good examples of deadpan satire, particularly around political events.
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