Re: Am I really that immature?
Greetings Jayde.
Objective? No I cannot assess another's maturity objectively and it's very possible that I have emotional development issues when it comes to people I either do not feel anything for or if I only care for them a little. Yes, I'm rather like the hypothetical guy who goes to a concert and cringes because one of them is way out of key. Did I tell anyone that when such happened to me? Indeed I did when the person next to me asked me why I was cringing and why I was not enjoying the musical until that particular singer went off stage. Do I feel disconnected emotionally from others except for my diosa Lisa? Yes I do and I've always felt this way my entire life. Yes I may have changed in as much as I'm an absolute pacifist and will never knowingly or willingly harm another, it does not mean however that I've suddenly developed empathy for humanity unless they are rejects of society. I find far more kinship with people who society deems abnormal; if society doesn't want them then I accept them. This extends to criminals and I'm almost always writing on facebook about forgiving them, counselling and educating them and not looking down on them in any way. I was even asked the question, if a criminal did anything to my family and or to me, could I forgive them. without any hesitation, my response was an emphatic yes because the cycle of violence must end somewhere and in my case, it ends with me. Indeed I should never have done unto the animals and that's why I'm all about giving society's rejects chances to reform. Going outside of absolute pacifism, is it more important for me to be right or to research facts in order for me to present factual arguments? A lot of the time yes unless we're discussing subjects that I don't know much or anything about. Do I have an overwhelming need to prove myself? I suppose I do. I hate being told to do things that I'm already doing and one of them is to take responsibility for my own actions. This happened 2 years ago before I embraced the path of peace. My best friend offered me to take me to my social group because I was going to pay my cafeteria bill in cash. A minute later, a woman came up to me telling me that I must take responsibility and not rely on others. Now, if I were the kind of guy to only rely on others, I would have gotten it; so it was no surprise that I thought her comment distinctly unfair. A few weeks later, I was sitting down with the woman and she was telling me about how many crutches she relied on to get her through life; one was medication for her depression. I felt like she was trying to run away from her problems instead of facing them. I told her that regardless of her not taking responsibility, she was responsible for what she said and did. I even told her that I suffered from depression-like symptoms temporarily from the age of 9 through 17 and I just got on with life without asking for someone to hold my hand. Yes I still felt the ever present feeling of not being able to relate to a normal. For some reason, she wanted to throw me out because of what I said but my best friend and spiritual Brother didn't want to lose me so she and I agreed to live and let live. I don't believe I was being intentionally malicious, I simply told her not to run away from her problems and to face them head on like I had to. The way I would deal with the same situation now would be a little different. I would give her the star prayers, the mental health carer's manual, documents on how to face your problems head on, what happens if you use chemical crutches to make it possible for you to not face your inner demons and what happens if you let someone take over your life and manage your mental/emotional health for you. I'd also explain how almost all minds are under siege from forces within us and how to combat the evil forces. Other than that, I really have nothing more to add and I thank you for your comments. I do agree that I'm not good at dealing with people and I'm not the best one for judging another's maturity. If you check out my facebook page, you'll see what I mean.
Kind regards, Amin Abdullah.
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