Re: For what to live?
Such clear signs usually manifest themselves only after the disorder has been developing quietly for a longer time. I'm not saying it does have to be schizophrenia specifically, just that it sounded quite a lot like it. It can be anything else. If you felt pressure on the side of your head or whatever, excellent, then it could even be a tumor or you could have hurt yourself pretty badly physically.
No human can ever do anything to themselves that's purely mental activity that would cause their brain to overload and manifest on a physical level, not to mention for almost a week. You can feel serious mental fatigue, sure, lose energy or your mood, but as long as it's not a medical condition, you just get a bit of rest and it wears off. Do some reading on the neurosciences and neurology rather than philosophy. But most importantly, I think it would be a lot better for you in the long run if you could put your paranoia of human institutions aside for a bit and activelly sought for professional assistance.
I'm solitary as well but that's not an excuse to ignore clear warnings your body is trying to give you. Or is even your own wellfare not important to you either?
Lukas
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