Re: This title needs to go
The nature of microaggressions is that they are low level.That's why they're microaggressions, not macroaggressions.
If Haily had come in here stating that we all have a grudge against her due to the "playroom playboy" title, and demanded we change it right here and now, then sure. You can make an excellent case for her making too big a deal out of it. But she didn't do that.
She mentioned it publicly for reasons I can't be entirely sure of, but one common reason people make suggestions in the site and forum feedback section is because they feel that these suggestions may alleviate a problem or make the forum a better place.
Can I just stop for a sec and point out that the sheer amount of resistance spewed in this topic outshines the stuff shared in many others, lots of which actually affect everyone. Just stop and think about that for a second.
You try and claim, Zarvox, that Haily is failing to meet some nebulous minimum standard for making a public stance regarding an issue that is bothering her. It's too small and low-level to deal with, you say. It's not worth talking about, you say. Haily apparently didn't see it this way. What you're doing is essentially trying to cancel Haily's right to take exception to something publicly. Sure, she could've come to us publicly, but why should she have to tiptoe? Because she's trans? Because some of the things she says get under people's skin? Last time I checked, this was a forum where if people have a grievance, they're free to air it in whichever method they choose. I'm kind of struggling to understand why you and others like you are imposing arbitrary limitations.
In fact, I'll go one step further.
Inability to empathize is playing a role here. You don't know what it is like to be misgendered and misnamed. Members of this very fucking forum have done this to Haily as recently as the last couple of days, even though we made very clear months ago that this was not going to be tolerated at all. But instead of just leaving her alone if you can't support her, you're criticizing first the thinness of her skin, and then the method of her bringing the issue to our attention.
Let me put this another way,and you probably won't like this, but I am completely over any desire I might have had to play gentle with your feelings on this point. I'm getting an impression that no matter what Haily would have asked for or suggested, and no matter who she would have talked to, some of you would have taken issue with it. I'm not going to say it's because she's transgender, but it's the sort of thing that is not at all representative of how a forum ought to run. Then again, some other folks did this impossible-to-win scenario to Rory as well, so perhaps it's just that we've got a bunch of forumites who are bound and determined to crucify anyone who bucks the status quo or challenges their social expectations. I mean, how dare Haily state that misgendering is uncomfortable! The horror, am I right?
I think some of you, at least, need to take an extremely hard look at yourselves and your behaviour. For folks who claim that a forum title doesn't matter, you've helped make an awfully big mess for something which is apparently inconsequential. You pretty much blew any credibility on this subject you might once have had straight to hell.
Now, is there anything else?
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