Re: depressed from blindness again
Therapists are much less likely to judge you than you think. You might have to try a few times to find a good one, but you're highly, highly unlikely to be judged. I try to keep the not-PG13 parts of my life out of these discussions, but last time I did this I was involved in a 5-person gay polyamorous relationship with D/S elements in Florida and my therapist was just like "Huh, I've never heard of that before, tell me more, that sounds like an interesting life experience". But the flip side is that if you think there is something they might judge, there might actually be reasons to work on whatever it is. And if there are, the idea is that you'll work out whether or not that's the case together. Obviously there's bad therapists. But this is the sort of stuff a good one will do. They're people too, of course, but their job is to worry about the things you should be worried about from a mental health perspective, not to put all their personal feelings on their clients.
You don't need to live alone now or anything like that, but the paradox of depression is that you'll be unable to do anything because the depression is sitting there telling you you can't, but doing something is what will help the depression go away. Clearly Covid makes doing something harder, possibly hard enough that you can't. I get that.
But also, the thing is, if you're just dwelling on how you're not sighted all the time, and you can't get past it, and you think there's something a therapist might judge, and you've got self-control problems, and these demons are literal, you're describing a whole host of mental illnesses, most of which are easily treatable. In that case, putting off going to a psychologist or psychiatrist is probably a huge mistake.
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