Re: Discrimination at a County Fair
Hi Defender.
You might be correct on the idea of a dog, however I disagree about appearance with a sighted person aiding in perception or otherwise. most sighted people will indeed interact with the sighted person rather than you, and generally ignore your existance. However this is not just a matter of eye contact, sinse it occurs with pretty much any visible disability, just check any accounts of disability literature or ask anyone who is in a wheel chair, on calipers, has a condition that interferes with their movement etc. Indeed it's often called the "does he take sugar" syndrome.
This is howevre not because the none disabled person aides communication, it is because the none disabled person provides a buffer, provides someone "normal" whom people can interact with.
I remember for example once sitting in a theatre at a music festival on my own, and an old man talking to me as though I were a five year old and even patting me repeat edly on the shoulder like an animal needing soothing, he completely ignored the fact I said was a doctoral researcher and at university and a performer myself, indeed he seemed to be paying no attention to what I said at all. I was just about coming to the end of my reserve of politeness and was about to tell this old git to sod off, when a woman I'd met in the hotel that morning at breakfast sat down on the other side of me and said "hello"
The old scumbag, in great relief turned to her and said "oh! he's with you" Where upon the lady, ---- who I'd perhaps only conversed with for ten minutes replied "Actually I only met him for the first time this morning, he's with himself!"
Credit to her, she even said later "oh people like that must really be annoying!" .
That's why my usual response is to t ry and get people to progress their opinions by firstly, making sure that even if I am with another sighted person, it's me! they talk to, and secondly by literally learning enough about people, conversations and interactions, not to mention employing my emotional sense, to put people at ease and engage with people. This is not easy, but it's a skill that anyone can learn, and sort of a necessary one for any disabled person.
A dog however is different sinse people can't talk to a dog instead of you, maybe it's that the dog is recognizable and admirable, and so people respond to that, I don't kno.
eye contact is a hole other story. Eye contact doesn't really make as much difference when actually in conversation with people sinse then you can pickup emotional responses from others and show your own adequately. For example, one performance class I went to the tutor was very keen on the performers making eye contact with the audience, but he fo und if I was in the right frame of mind and being completely sensative to what others were feeling, I would exhibit the same openness as if I had! made eye contact.
The problem is more that eye contact is used to initially form a link with someone and have permission for verbal conversation to begin, indeed this is why lots of casual environments for sighted people such as clubs and certain pubs to interact socially are extremely noisy, sinse the interactions there are all by eye contact. even in less noisey but still social environmentss such as pubs or social gatherings like parties often the permission to begin conversation is eye contact, and when you combine this with the avoidance you've got a recipe for most people to ignore you and it's just bloody unfair, and disappointing.
The only solution I've found is to avoid those sorts of situations and try to engage with people only at gatherings of mutual interest or small groups where people are forced to interact with you, and after a while of being ignored people's attitudes will change, however this still requires patience and often won't work, however once your out of school or university it's really the only way to interact with anyone and perhaps make friends that is reliable so it's a case of keep trying.
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