Re: I need help
A few points here:
Julia, the issue isn't whether or not your partner would care about the name-dropping. The issue is whether or not Steve would care. If Cynthia is now dead, then she's unlikely to care much either way, of course. The point I'm trying to get across - and the reason I gave you a caution - is because we generally frown on throwing first names of potential community members around here unless A) the person being talked about has previously disclosed that info, B) the person in question's personal info is widely available and they don't mind it being bandied about, or C) the person is dead and therefore unable to give consent. And even then, bringing up first names is probably pointless and sort of in bad taste. People know my first name on this forum, mostly because I haven't taken pains to keep it quiet, but almost nobody uses it because I'd generally prefer that they didn't. They call me Jayde; that's my username here. Basically, name-dropping people when it isn't strictly necessary just seems loaded for no good reason.
As I pointed out, a caution is not a punishment. I'll repeal it if there is strong evidence that either 1. Steve is dead, 2. Steve himself is fine with it or 3. Steve has already made his name well-known enough that trying to hide it is pointless. In the meantime though, just try to avoid name-dropping where you don't have to. If you want to talk about your partner and use her name, assuming she's fine with that - and you'd know if you're her partner - then that's permissible, though bear in mind that if she shows up and for whatever reason speaks against you on this, claims she doesn't want people using her name this way, there may be consequences.
Haily and others: the writing style between Julia and Cookie (whose real name I actually know, and no, it's not what has been stated here, either) is different enough that I'm pretty sure these are two different people. I think that trying to flag this as the same person without evidence is edging into potential witch-hunt territory. Now, if it turns out to be so, then of course we'll deal with it, and we'll keep an eye out...but until such time that that builds up a head of steam, I'm going to kindly ask you folks to take a step back on the Julia = Cookie insinuations.
To the point about "stalker behaviour"? Uh...so my main question here - and of course you don't have to answer this - is why you're using audiogames.net as a means of communication. Why aren't you talking via Facebook, Twitter, Discord, Skype, Zoom, email, telephone or some other method, particularly as you've been dating for awhile? Reviving months-old topics just to comment on your partner's posts seems weird to me too, I've gotta say. I'm not sure what exactly you're trying to accomplish. There are guidelines against excessive thread necromancy; I'd say you're not really in any danger of this just yet, but I'd also gently urge you to find other and more active ways to stay in touch with your partner. If I had a partner who was doing to my old threads and posts what you are doing to your partner's threads and posts, I would have some pretty pointed words for her, and we'd ben having a conversation about the security and stability of our relationship. I've been in several adult relationships, and most adults don't feel the need to shadow their partner and support them/back them up when they weren't around for the situation in the first place. That behaviour smacks of insecurity on your part, Julia, and no...before you ask, I won't apologize for this assessment of your character. I'm not going to pick on you, or invent reasons to punish you under the rules, and I'm not going to hound you unduly. But when you say things in public, you open yourself to public scrutiny. Consider this a polite form of public scrutiny. I think that your behaviour is peculiar, at the very least, but nothing is technically stopping you from doing this. Just don't be surprised if people who are a lot more judgmental than I am write you off as desperate, clingy or immature as a result.
For what it's worth, if your relationship is, in fact, stable and mutually fulfilling, then that's awesome, and I hope it continues to be so for as long as makes sense for both of you.
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