This could be funny...but its too realistic! The writer forgot the bit where 30
of the 50 gliders flopped back for relights before the start...chaos on a long
narrow buckled field...then finally disappeared for a formation landout. That
was the better day of the two in the Junior Nationals, on the other day a very
few got home but the majority never even started.
Sid, (the weatherman) wore a paper bag on his head during all of his weather
briefing.
I'm in the Club Class Nationals next week....the forecast is cr..p right up to
Friday, registration day.
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]: [EMAIL PROTECTED]: Mon, 11 Aug 2008 20:28:53
+1000Subject: [Aus-soaring] UK Comps - to scrub or not to scrub
FM the UK Banter webgrorup. We're so lucky here!
WPP
Competitions - What scrubbing does Day 1 The director is laid back, time to
sort out thing things that havenot been done. The pilots are laid back time to
sort out the things theyhave not done. The crew is laid back because they don't
have to preparethe glider or retrieve it. Day 2 The director is still laid
back, another 7 days to go. The pilotsare getting itchy and look for things for
the crew do do. The crew is laidback but irritated slightly by the pilots being
itchy and finding themthings to do. Day 3 The director is slightly less laid
back. The pilots are nowbeginning to ask difficult questions at briefing like
when are we going tofly. The pilots are definitely not laid back and go out to
purchaseexpensive toys to play with to pass the time. The crew are laid
backbecause they still do not have to retrieve and the pilots are off forretail
therapy. Day 4 The director is getting a little paranoid, he thinks the
pilotsblame him for the weather. The pilots are ok for a bit and then they
crashthe expensive toys and start moaning at the crew because they
didn'tprepare him properly or show sypathy when he crashed his toy. The crew
arehappy that there is not retrieve, amused by the pilot crashing his toy
andthen pissed of because it's their fault so they have a little sulk andget
slightly rat arsed. All study the TV weather intently. Day 5 The director is
getting worried so he briefs a task, gets everyoneon the grid and threatens to
launch. The pilots are at first happy becausethey think the director knows
something they don't. They sit on the gridand get tetchy as the day goes on,
they could be playing with theexpensive toy. The crew are fed up because they
know if the grid islaunched they are going to have to collect the glider from a
wet muddyfiled miles from the nearest pub, but at least the pilots are not able
toplay with the expensive toy. The pilot has spent all his money on anexpensive
toy and repairing it so he won't be able to afford a crew mealso they won't
even get that. When the day is finally scrubbed everyonegets sh1t faced. The
director retires to his caravan and stares intentlyat the internet weather
trying to see a possibilty of flying in the nextfew days, falls asleep doing
it. Day 6 The director gets up grumpy because he has fallen asleep in
hisclothes and has a mouth like the bottom of a budgies cage. He puts
backbriefing to avoid having to face the pilots. The pilots get up grumpy witha
searing headache and a mouth like the director. They are glad briefing isput
back because it allows them to recover a little. They wonder about atask and
whether they should play with their expensive toy which they havemanaged to
repair. The crew stay in bed, ignore the tannoy and decide theydon't want to
play any more. The director puts back briefing a couple ofmore times and then
scrubs on the tannoy, sneaks back to his caravan andhides from the pilots. The
pilots have a meeting to decide if they shouldsacrifice a weatherman and wonder
where the crew are. The crew have hiddenthe expensive toy because if they do
have to do a retrieve they want theircrew meal and they don't want the pilot
spending money on repairing itagain. The pilots are fed up because they can't
find their expensive toy.The pilots and crew retire to the bar but stay in
seperate groups. Day 7 The director is depressed, he appears at briefing says
two words"we're scrubbed" and slinks off. The pilots are fed up with the
crewwho didn't talk to them and demand the return of the expensive toy.
Thepilots cause carnage with the expensive toy and go off for more
retailtherapy. The crew surrender all hope of a crew meal and point out to
thepilots that they have saved money on launches. The pilots are cheered
alittle by this as they now can afford all the bits to repair the expensivetoy.
The crew go off muttering about bloody directors, bloody weathermenand most of
all tight bloody pilots. Day 8 The director is suicidal but realises he has
only one more day toput up with the pilots and crew. The pilots sit about in
groups discussingwhether or not the competition is the worst they have ever
been to, vownever to come again. The crew start to think about putting the
glider awayfor a run home. The director is not only suicidal but also paranoid,
hewanders about smiling and feeling that all the pilots are after him. Thecrew
are thinking of the party and realise that they are not going to geta crew meal
so they tell the pilots that they will be buying the drinks atthe party in
lieu. The pilots tell the crew to take a hike and point outthat they have had
an easy week with bugger all to do and should thinkthemselves lucky. Day 9 The
sun is shining. The director thinks, hurrah we will get a compat least. The
pilots think they might fly. The crew are still in bedrecovering from the party
and all the booze the pilots bought.The directorbriefs an early task. The
pilots rush from the briefing to their caravan,treading on the expensive toy
that the crew have laid out ready to pack.They curse and swear and start
looking for loggers, maps batteries, GPS'sand curse the crew for not being
ready. The crew start to put the glidertogether and can't remember where they
left the aircraft batteries. Thereis a queue at the water points and fights are
breaking out over who wasthere first. The pilots want to know why the glider is
not on the grid andwhere is the sodding parachute. The director is at the
launch point cursingbecause the gliders are not on the grid, the tugs are not
moving and theclub are flying off the winch. He is looking for the scorer who
went homethe night before. Clouds are appearing in the sky and the sniffer is
stillphaffing. The pilots are with the glider on the grid, the crews have
moreor less got their act together the clouds are getting bigger. The
snifferreports 4 knots to 3000ft and the tugs are still nowhere to be seen.
Thelaunch marshall discovers his radio battery is flat and the director
isthreatening serious harm to the tug pilots who are moving slowly to thegrid.
The pilots are in the gliders the crews are ready and the grid islaunched. The
gate opens in 5 minutes, the clouds push through thefreezing level and it
starts to rain, but only in the start sector. Allthe gliders land back. The
crews collect the gliders from all over theairfield and the rain really sets
in, everyone gets wet. The treasurerarrives at the launch point to complain of
the wasted money spent on dayprizes, final prizes and the lack of income. He
also moans at the damagecaused to club property by the crashing toys. Everyone
goes home. The End
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