Dear RFC Editor

I'm fine with the comments from my co-author.

One comment inline for point 7 below.

I reviewed the changes, and they look good, but I see we don't have full 
contact details for the authors.

The correct details for me are:

   Stig Venaas
   Cisco Systems, Inc.
   Tasman Drive
   San Jose  CA  95134
   United States of America

   Email: s...@cisco.com

Thanks,
Stig

> -----Original Message-----
> From: rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org <rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, May 27, 2025 3:42 PM
> To: Vengada Prasad Govindan (venggovi) <vengg...@cisco.com>; Stig Venaas
> (svenaas) <sven...@cisco.com>
> Cc: rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org; pim-...@ietf.org; pim-cha...@ietf.org;
> mmcbri...@gmail.com; gunter.van_de_ve...@nokia.com;
> auth48archive@rfc-editor.org
> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9798 <draft-ietf-pim-jp-extensions-lisp-09>
> for your review
> Importance: High
> 
> Authors,
> 
> While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary)
> the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
> 
> 1) <!-- [rfced] Because this document updates RFC 8059, please review the
> errata reported for RFC 8059 (https://www.rfc-
> editor.org/errata_search.php?rfc=8059).  We do not believe any are applicable
> to this document, but we would appreciate confirmation that this is correct.
> -->
> 
> 
> 2) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in the
> title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. -->
> 
> 
> 3) <!-- [rfced] [RFC6831] appears to use the terms "(S-EID,G)" and "(S-
> RLOC,G)" rather than "(root-EID, G)" and "(root-RLOC, G)". This is clarified
> later in the paragraph, but perhaps the sentences should be closer together
> and the original term defined in RFC 6831 should be noted first.
> 
> Original:
>    [RFC6831] specifies that (root-EID, G) data packets are to be LISP-
>    encapsulated into (root-RLOC, G) multicast packets. ... We use the term
>    root-EID or root-RLOC to refer to the source of the multicast tree
>    rooted at the EID or RLOC.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    [RFC6831] specifies that (EID, G) data packets are to be LISP-
>    encapsulated into (RLOC, G) multicast packets. In this document,
>    we use the term root-EID or root-RLOC to refer to the source
>    of the multicast tree rooted at the EID or RLOC. ...
> -->
> 
> 
> 4) <!-- [rfced] Seemingly, the text points readers to RFCs 6831 and 9300 for
> definitions of EID and RLOC.  Please review.
> 
> Original (both from the Introduction):
>    Please refer to Section 3 of [RFC6831] for the
>    definition of the terms EID and RLOC.
> 
>    ...
> 
>    This document uses terminology defined in [RFC9300], such as EID,
>    RLOC, ITR, and ETR.
> -->
> 
> 
> 5) <!-- [rfced] Is (PxTR) the same as the site border node?
> 
> Original:
>    Inter-site Proxy Tunnel Routers (PxTR):
>      When multiple LISP sites are interconnected through a LISP-based
>      transit, the site border node (PxTR) connects the site-facing
>      interfaces with the external LISP core.
> 
> Perhaps:
>    Inter-site Proxy Tunnel Routers (PxTR):
>      When multiple LISP sites are interconnected through a LISP-based
>      transit, the site border node (i.e., PxTR) connects the site-facing
>      interfaces with the external LISP core.
> -->
> 
> 
> 6) <!-- [rfced] For clarity, we suggest including a section number (at
> minimum) and/or the text being replaced.  For example:
> 
> Original:
>    The definition of the "Receiver RLOC" field of the Receiver ETR RLOC
>    attribute RFC 8059 [RFC8059] is updated as follows:
> 
>    Receiver RLOC:
>     The RLOC address on which the receiver ETR wishes to receive the
>     encapsulated flow.  A unicast IP Receiver RLOC address is used for
>     unicast-encapsulated flows.  Alternately, a multicast IP Receiver
>     RLOC address is used for for multicast-encapsulated flows.  A
>     multicast IP address MUST be used only when the underlay network of
>     the LISP core supports IP Multicast transport.
> 
> Suggested:
>    The definition of the "Receiver RLOC" field of the Receiver ETR RLOC
>    attribute (see Section 5.1 of [RFC8059]) is updated as follows:
> 
> OLD:
>    Receiver RLOC:   The RLOC address on which the receiver ETR wishes to
>       receiver the unicast-encapsulated flow.
> 
> NEW:
>    Receiver RLOC:
>     The RLOC address on which the receiver ETR wishes to receive the
>     encapsulated flow.  A unicast IP Receiver RLOC address is used for
>     unicast-encapsulated flows.  Alternately, a multicast IP Receiver
>     RLOC address is used for multicast-encapsulated flows.  A
>     multicast IP address MUST be used only when the underlay network of
>     the LISP core supports IP Multicast transport.
> -->
> 
> 
> 7) <!-- [rfced] [RFC6831] uses the term "outgoing interface list" and 
> "OIF-list";
> we do not see use of the term "OutgoingInterfaceList".
> Please review.
> 
> Original:
>    *  It allocates a new entry in the OutgoingInterfaceList RFC 6831
>       [RFC6831] for every unique underlay multicast mapping.
> -->

It would be good to replace this with "outgoing interface list" as in 6831.

> 
> 8) <!-- [rfced] Throughout the text, the following terminology appears to be
> used inconsistently. Please review these occurrences and let us know if/how
> they may be made consistent.
> 
> Multicast vs multicast
> 
> 
> Note that we expanded the following abbreviations.  Please let us know if any
> updates are required.
> 
> Routing Locator (RLOC)
> Tunnel Router (xTR)
> -->
> 
> 
> 9) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the
> online Style Guide <https://www.rfc-
> editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>
> and let us know if any changes are needed.  Updates of this nature
> typically result in more precise language, which is helpful for readers.
> 
> Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this should
> still be reviewed as a best practice.
> -->
> 
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> RFC Editor
> 
> 
> 
> 
> On May 27, 2025, at 3:37 PM, rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org wrote:
> 
> *****IMPORTANT*****
> 
> Updated 2025/05/27
> 
> RFC Author(s):
> --------------
> 
> Instructions for Completing AUTH48
> 
> Your document has now entered AUTH48.  Once it has been reviewed and
> approved by you and all coauthors, it will be published as an RFC.
> If an author is no longer available, there are several remedies
> available as listed in the FAQ (https://www.rfc-editor.org/faq/).
> 
> You and you coauthors are responsible for engaging other parties
> (e.g., Contributors or Working Group) as necessary before providing
> your approval.
> 
> Planning your review
> ---------------------
> 
> Please review the following aspects of your document:
> 
> *  RFC Editor questions
> 
>    Please review and resolve any questions raised by the RFC Editor
>    that have been included in the XML file as comments marked as
>    follows:
> 
>    <!-- [rfced] ... -->
> 
>    These questions will also be sent in a subsequent email.
> 
> *  Changes submitted by coauthors
> 
>    Please ensure that you review any changes submitted by your
>    coauthors.  We assume that if you do not speak up that you
>    agree to changes submitted by your coauthors.
> 
> *  Content
> 
>    Please review the full content of the document, as this cannot
>    change once the RFC is published.  Please pay particular attention to:
>    - IANA considerations updates (if applicable)
>    - contact information
>    - references
> 
> *  Copyright notices and legends
> 
>    Please review the copyright notice and legends as defined in
>    RFC 5378 and the Trust Legal Provisions
>    (TLP – https://trustee.ietf.org/license-info).
> 
> *  Semantic markup
> 
>    Please review the markup in the XML file to ensure that elements of
>    content are correctly tagged.  For example, ensure that <sourcecode>
>    and <artwork> are set correctly.  See details at
>    <https://authors.ietf.org/rfcxml-vocabulary>.
> 
> *  Formatted output
> 
>    Please review the PDF, HTML, and TXT files to ensure that the
>    formatted output, as generated from the markup in the XML file, is
>    reasonable.  Please note that the TXT will have formatting
>    limitations compared to the PDF and HTML.
> 
> 
> Submitting changes
> ------------------
> 
> To submit changes, please reply to this email using ‘REPLY ALL’ as all
> the parties CCed on this message need to see your changes. The parties
> include:
> 
>    *  your coauthors
> 
>    *  rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org (the RPC team)
> 
>    *  other document participants, depending on the stream (e.g.,
>       IETF Stream participants are your working group chairs, the
>       responsible ADs, and the document shepherd).
> 
>    *  auth48archive@rfc-editor.org, which is a new archival mailing list
>       to preserve AUTH48 conversations; it is not an active discussion
>       list:
> 
>      *  More info:
>         https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/ietf-announce/yb6lpIGh-
> 4Q9l2USxIAe6P8O4Zc
> 
>      *  The archive itself:
>         https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/auth48archive/
> 
>      *  Note: If only absolutely necessary, you may temporarily opt out
>         of the archiving of messages (e.g., to discuss a sensitive matter).
>         If needed, please add a note at the top of the message that you
>         have dropped the address. When the discussion is concluded,
>         auth48archive@rfc-editor.org will be re-added to the CC list and
>         its addition will be noted at the top of the message.
> 
> You may submit your changes in one of two ways:
> 
> An update to the provided XML file
>  — OR —
> An explicit list of changes in this format
> 
> Section # (or indicate Global)
> 
> OLD:
> old text
> 
> NEW:
> new text
> 
> You do not need to reply with both an updated XML file and an explicit
> list of changes, as either form is sufficient.
> 
> We will ask a stream manager to review and approve any changes that seem
> beyond editorial in nature, e.g., addition of new text, deletion of text,
> and technical changes.  Information about stream managers can be found in
> the FAQ.  Editorial changes do not require approval from a stream manager.
> 
> 
> Approving for publication
> --------------------------
> 
> To approve your RFC for publication, please reply to this email stating
> that you approve this RFC for publication.  Please use ‘REPLY ALL’,
> as all the parties CCed on this message need to see your approval.
> 
> 
> Files
> -----
> 
> The files are available here:
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9798.xml
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9798.html
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9798.pdf
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9798.txt
> 
> Diff file of the text:
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9798-diff.html
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9798-rfcdiff.html (side by side)
> 
> Diff of the XML:
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9798-xmldiff1.html
> 
> 
> Tracking progress
> -----------------
> 
> The details of the AUTH48 status of your document are here:
>    https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9798
> 
> Please let us know if you have any questions.
> 
> Thank you for your cooperation,
> 
> RFC Editor
> 
> --------------------------------------
> RFC 9798 (draft-ietf-pim-jp-extensions-lisp-09)
> 
> Title            : PIM Join/Prune Attributes for LISP Environments using 
> Underlay
> Multicast
> Author(s)        : V. Govindan, S. Venaas
> WG Chair(s)      : Stig Venaas, Mike McBride
> 
> Area Director(s) : Jim Guichard, Ketan Talaulikar, Gunter Van de Velde
> 

-- 
auth48archive mailing list -- auth48archive@rfc-editor.org
To unsubscribe send an email to auth48archive-le...@rfc-editor.org

Reply via email to