Hi, David, At 06:48 PM 2/5/2004, you wrote: >>Is Taraf that ridiculous custom where you lie to your host twice when they ask you >>for a meal, saying you don't want one, and then say you do when they ask you the >>third time?<<
It may seem ridiculous to a non-Iranian. However, many Western customs might appear strange, even offensive, to a person from Iran. Etiquette seldom makes sense when removed from its cultural context. >>My thought was that this is supposed to show one's humility. But if you are humble, >>why would you want to do something so pretentious just to make others aware of it?<< Taraf is very ceremonial. It probably works best if all the people involved understand and practice it. That is why I suggested that taraf is not exactly the same as humility. Perhaps, it would be more accurate to regard it as a custom through which many Iranian Baha'is express humility and courtesy. However, the same could be said for most systems of etiquette, could it not? >>Did 'Abdu'l-Baha follow this custom? I wouldn't have thought this would be a valid >>situation to lie.<< My impression, from reading stories of His life, is that he followed it when interacting with other Iranians. >>Either you want a meal or you don't. If you do, I don't see why you'd lie about it >>twice.<< It is not lying if everyone knows what is going on. It is ceremonial etiquette or a *game*. The confusion arises when a particular system of etiquette is practiced among people who do not understand it. However, if one is raised to express courtesy in a particular way, turning it off and on like a switch is easier said than done. >>They therefore sat there miserable for the rest of the night, really hungry.<< I think in that case, the problem lies *mostly* with the Iranians. When in Rome .... However, in spite of that, we can certainly try to understand each other's cultures and to overlook one another's weaknesses. Mark A. Foster * http://MarkFoster.net http://CompuServe.MarkFoster.name __________________________________________________ You are subscribed to Baha'i Studies as: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send a blank email to mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Baha'i Studies is available through the following: Mail - mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Web - http://list.jccc.net/read/?forum=bahai-st News - news://list.jccc.net/bahai-st http://www.escribe.com/religion/bahaist (public) http://www.mail-archive.com/[EMAIL PROTECTED] (public)
