One day there was a conference of electricity in USA. All experts from all over the world congregated in this prestigious conference. An official from Asia met an expert from Africa. The African invited the official from Asia to visit his country after the conference and it was done. Arriving in Africa, the expert from Asia was pick up with Roll Royce car and the he was whisked to luxury house with golf courses and hundreds of housemaids. "Wow, how could you make all of these" said the Asian, baffling to see all this luxuries. "How much money have you spent to build of these and how you made the money . I know you only work for your government as a manager of a power plant. You do not make enough money,do you" ask the Asian. The African said " Lets go around and you will find out". The Asian was taken to a power plant project. The African further said :" You know my friend, this project costs billion of US dollars". The Asian was surprised "Billion of US dollars? But, it is only cost less than a million dollars?" "That is the secret" said the African. "I marked up the project. I took the rest", he continued. "Wow you are bloody smart" said the Asian. A few months later, the African was invited by the Asian to visit his country and the African did. The Asian treated his guest as big boss. He was taken to a luxury villas with swimming pool, golf courses, cars, horses, and charming ladies ready to entertain his guest. "Wow you are very rich, friend. I know your country technically has collapsed already. Your country can not afford to pay the debts. And black outs are very common here. How do you make such a huge fortune"? asked the African. "Well, let me take you to a project, I am in charged of" said the Asian. Then he was taken to a steam and gas powered plant located in a tourist area. The African was so baffled" Wow, this is your new project? But, these machineries looks very old?" asked the African. The Asian said " That is the secret. I moved all this rubbish from a location somewhere else and installed here rather than dump it into the sea". "But it must be protests from the people" said the African. "There were" said the Asian " but I was able to handle it". " But, the local government must not allow you to build such a project?" the African kept asking. "This is a very nice country, we have very good leaders money can buy" said the Asian. "But what about the environments? This project will surely damage the environment, pollute the water and the air. This tourist area will be gone", said the African. "Well, it may true, but who cares?" said the Asian. It is only a joke, mate, have fun. Nyoman Suwela
----- Original Message ----- From: "Gde Wisnaya Wisna" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "[EMAIL PROTECTED]" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Sunday, December 01, 2002 10:06 PM Subject: [bali] FW: [lsde_lovers] Malaysian Jokes > Please find this article, just to kill your time. > > Gde Wisnaya > > > Malaysian in Space > > Dr. Mahathir was about to send the first Malaysian > rocket into space. > > 3 potential astronauts were called for an interview - > one Indian, one > Malay > and one Chinese. > > Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is > a dangerous > mission... how much do you think you should be paid > for it?" > > Muthu thinks to himself and says, "1 million ringgit." > "Why so much?" asks Dr. M. > "Nowadays toddy wery expensive, Datuk..." replies > Muthu. > "I see," said Dr. M. "Thank you... please ask the > Malay guy to come > here." > > So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question. > "Uh... 2 million boleh lah," replies the Malay > applicant. > "2 million? That's a lot of money! Even the aneh > before you only asked > for > one million!" > "You see, Datuk," explained Mat. "I have 4 wives and > 15 children...so, > 20 of > us in the family, we need a lot of money to support > ourselves..." > "I see," said Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask the Chinese > guy to come up here > now?" > > The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, > this is a dangerous > mission... how much do you think you should be paid?" > Ah Chong thinks for a while, and suddenly says, "3 > million." > Mahathir is shocked. "WHAT?!?! 3 million? Why so > much?!" > Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer, and whispers, > "One million you > keep, > one million I keep, and then one more million to send > the aneh into > space." > > > Sun Exploration > Four delegates from China, Russia, the United States > and Malaysia > attended > the United Nations' Meeting. All the nations were > discussing about > space > exploration by the year 2000. Here are some of the > conversations: > > China Delegate: 'By the year 2000, China will start > their moon > exploration > project. ' > > Russian Delegate: ' We too, we are going to explore > the moon. This time > we > will see to it that our cosmonauts will step on the > moon.' > > Bill Clinton: ' We the United States will also explore > the moon for > second > time.' > > Malaysian Delegate: 'By the year 2000, Malaysia will > explore the sun.' > > There was a long silence, Bill Clinton stood up and > asked the Malaysia > Delegate: ' Isn't it too hot to explore the sun?' > > Malaysian Delegate (smiling): 'I had this thought out > already. We will > do it > in the evening.' > > Philosophy > > Singapore and Malaysia have a different philosophies > of life. This > becomes > apparent when we compare the two countries' Rules of > Simple Living. > > Singapore: > 1 - One Wife > 2 - Two Children > 3 - Three Bedroom Condo > 4 - Four Wheels > 5 - Five Figure Salary > > And indeed, that is why 'Singapore is solid'! > > Malaysia? Well, Malaysia's Rules of Simple Living are > the following: > 5 - Five Children > 4 - Four Wives > 3 - Three Figure Salary > 2 - Two Wheels > 1 - One-Storey Link House... > > > One Of A Kind > > Mahathir was so disappointed with his cabinet for > being inefficient and > corrupt that he decided to call on Goh Chok Tong and > ask him how he > managed > to have such an efficient and uncorruptable cabinet. > > On hearing Mahathir's woes, PM Goh said, 'Simple, > Mahathir, I choose > able > men for my cabinet. ' Mahathir asked, 'Yes, but how do > you know that > they are able?' PM Goh replied, Just ask them simple > questions to test their > intelligence. They don't need to be too difficult. Let > me illustrate to > you.' > > Just then, Tony Tan was walking by, PM Goh called out > to him, 'Hey > Tony, come over here.' Tony obediently walked briskly > over. PM Goh asked, > 'Tell me, Tony, who is your father's son ?' > > Tony Tan immediately replied, 'Me! Of course.' PM Goh > turned to > Mahathir and said, 'See, all my ministers can answer > this question. Why don't you go > back and try.' Mahathir thank PM Goh and left. > > Once he was back, he immediately summoned Anwar, his > deputy, and shot > the question at him, 'Tell me, Anwar, who is your > father's son ?' Anwar was > shocked beyond words and did not know the answer > > After a while, he recovered and said, 'Boss, let me > find out and I'll > tell > you tomorrow.' Mahathir, a bit disappointed, agreed, > hoping that Anwar > will > give a good answer tomorrow. > > Meanwhile, Anwar was panicking that his boss was > testing him. He tried > desperately to find out the answer from his staff, but > none of them > knew the > answer. The next morning, he decided to call Bill > Clinton for help. > > Surely the most powerful person in the world must know > the answer. When > Bill > picked up the phone, Anwar said, 'Hello, Bill, can I > ask you a > question?' Clinton, very busy, replied, 'Alright, but > it better be > good!' > Anwar quickly asked, Tell me, who is your father's son > ?' > > Clinton was fuming, 'Of course its me, you stupid!' > and he slammed the > phone down > > Satisfied that he got the answer, he confidently > walked into Mahathir's > office and said, 'Boss, I've got the answer to your > question.' > > Mahathir, happy that his deputy wasn't that dumb, > said, 'So tell me > quick, > who is your father's son, Anwar?' Anwar confidently > replied, 'It''s > BILL > CLINTON!' > > Mahathir slapped his own forehead in disgust and said, > No you stupid! > It's > TONY TAN!' > > Proton Cars > > Dr M were meeting the other Asean leaders in KL. As > the Proton (Wira > and > Perdana) sales were not going too well, he took the > opportunity to do > some > hard sell to these guys. > > Dr M: 'President Suharto, how many Protons will you be > able to buy?' > Suh.: > '2000 is not a problem.' > > Dr M (very happy): 'Thanks. President Ramos, how about > you?' > > Ramos: 'Deliver 5000 to Philipines next week.' > > Dr M: 'Thanks for the support.' > > Sultan Bolkiah (determined not to be outdone): 'Brunei > roads can well > afford another 10,000 Protons. Send them over next > month.' > > Dr M by now is very pleased that his hard sell is > doing so well. > Finally he > turned to Goh Chok Tong. > > Dr M: 'Mr Goh, how about you?' > > Goh: 'I will take 500 cars, but with the special > condition that they be > painted in pink.' > > Dr M: 'That is not a problem. But I wonder, why choose > pink when we > have so > many other nice colours?' > > Goh: 'That's because I have to find 500 suckers.' > > > Say Cheese > > Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with > very big smiles on > their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them > what has > happened. A > Detective Inspector is sent and is taken to the first > body. > > 'Clinton, 60, died of heart failure whilst in bed with > his mistress. > Hence > the enormous smile, Inspector,' says the Coroner. > > The DI is taken to the second dead man. 'Suharto, 70, > made a pile from > government funds, and spent it all on whiskey. Died of > alcohol > poisoning, > hence the smile. > > 'Nothing unusual here', thinks the DI, and asks to be > shown the last > body. > > Ah,' says the coroner. 'This is the most unusual one. > Dr. Mahathir, 75, > struck by lightning.' > > 'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector. > > To which the coroner replies, 'He thought he was > having his picture > taken.' > > > Miracle Failure > > After he put Anwar in jail, Mahathir received a lot of > criticism from > different sources. Everything he did was sure to get > the journalists > and > diplomats screaming at him about corruption and > cronyism etc. Finally, > he > was so fed up that he called all the journalists and > diplomats to Johor > Bahru. > > Now, for all of you, I'm going to do something which > you all cannot > complain about.' and he magically stepped onto the > waters of the > straits of > johore and walked the full 1 km to the other side > without falling into > the > water. The onlookers were amazed and Mahathir was sure > he'd get some > compliments in the news tomorrow. > > The next day, Mahathir was shocked to find in > newspapers across the > planet > > The Sun 'Mahathir Can't Swim' > > The New York Times 'Mahathir crosses borders without > going through > immigration' > > The Straits Times 'Mahathir uses propaganda to curry > favour! > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- > > Ikuti polling TELKOM Memo 166 di www.plasa.com dan > > menangkan hadiah masing-masing Rp 250.000 tunai > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- > > > __________________________________________________ > Do you Yahoo!? > Yahoo! Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now. > http://mailplus.yahoo.com > > > > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- > Ikuti polling TELKOM Memo 166 di www.plasa.com dan menangkan hadiah masing-masing Rp 250.000 tunai > ------------------------------------------------------------------------- --- > > -- > Milis Diskusi Anggota LP3B Bali Indonesia. > > Publikasi : http://www.lp3b.or.id > Arsip : http://bali.lp3b.or.id > Moderators : <mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Berlangganan : <mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Henti Langgan : <mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED]> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ikuti polling TELKOM Memo 166 di www.plasa.com dan menangkan hadiah masing-masing Rp 250.000 tunai ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Milis Diskusi Anggota LP3B Bali Indonesia. Publikasi : http://www.lp3b.or.id Arsip : http://bali.lp3b.or.id Moderators : <mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED]> Berlangganan : <mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED]> Henti Langgan : <mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED]>
