Rekans Netter,
Banyak diantara memiliki anak usia balita yang sering
bermasalah dengan apa yang disebut Temper Tantrum atau
secara bebas diartikan perilaku marah, menjerit,
menangis, memukul dll yang dilakukan saat tidak
mendapatkan apa yang diinginkan atau hanya sekedar
menarik perhatian. Semoga artikel ini bisa membantu.
Mamanya Dafi
HOW DO YOU HANDLE A TEMPER TANTRUM?
B Y L A U R E N R O O N E Y
IMAGINE YOURSELF IN this situation:
you're at the grocery store with your toddler. You're
in the checkout line with people behind you. Your
child wants a candy bar, one of those strategically
placed confections within perfect grabbing range of
little hands. You make the mistake of saying no and
all hell breaks loose.
There are as many different types of temper tantrums
as their are two-year-olds to throw them. Just ask
Lori Wagner, director of Best Friends Daycare in the
Rossmoyne Business Center, Mechanicsburg. There are
about a dozen two-year-olds at her center on any given
day, and yes, sometimes they lose their cool.
"A lot of toddlers, even younger than two...throw a
lot of temper tantrums, basically because they can't
tell us what they want," Wagner says.
But what can a parent do? There are different schools
of thought on this: some say walk away; some say send
the child to a "time-out," especially in a public
situation; and still others say the best way to stop a
tantrum is to intervene.
Wagner chooses the latter because she feels it's the
adult's job to find out what's upsetting the child.
"Do they need a drink? Are they throwing a tantrum
because they're following you around with a little cup
and you're not paying attention?"
Wagner says she'll try to calm the storm by talking in
a soft voice, or by distracting the child with a book
or toy they like. "Sometimes you have to remind them
that you're not going to listen to them until they
calm down," says Wagner. She won't give them what they
want
while they're throwing a fit. "When the tantrum is
over we give them a big hug and remind them that there
are ways other than having a tantrum to get what they
want or need," she says.
There is one type of tantrum Wagner will ignore--the
one thrown just for attention. And that's a good idea,
according to Dr. Elizabeth Imboden, a general
pediatrician with York Hospital. In fact, she thinks
parents should turn their backs on all tantrum
episodes, literally. "Simply turn your back and do
something else while they scream and fuss."
But Imboden says be ready to hold out because some
tantrums can last up to 30 minutes. "It's hard to
focus the tantrum out, but try removing yourself from
the room. Get away from the situation and focus on
something else," she says. Just be sure the child is
not in an atmosphere where she can hurt herself as she
lets her anger loose. "The more attention you give to
a child who's throwing a tantrum, the more you enforce
that behavior, leading to more tantrums," says
Imboden.
Imboden recommends the book SOS HELP FOR PARENTS by
Lynn Clark, Ph.D., as a good source for dealing with
tantrums and other behaviors in children of all ages.
Dr. Valentins Krecko, a child-and-adolescent
psychologist with the Hershey Medical Center, agrees
that ignoring a temper tantrum is the best way to
handle it. "Children love attention," he says, "so you
have this tremendous leverage in dealing with a
tantrum." He says once children figure out that they
are not going to have your attention if they're
kicking and screaming on the
floor, they'll stop.
But toddlers don't always throw their temper tantrums
in the privacy of their own homes. Sometimes they get
these little fits of rage at the mall or in the
supermarket. What then? Krecko says give them a
time-out away from public view. "The most effective
thing to do, and it only has to be done a couple of
times, is to remove the child from the building," he
says "Go to the car or someplace where there is no one
else." Krecko knows this works because he's had do it
with his own young daughters once or twice. "Once they
realize that they're not going to get what they wanted
because they threw a tantrum, that really takes the
wind out of the tantrum."
Krecko says age two is a good time to start time-out.
The amount of time spent in time-out should be a
minute for each year. So, a two-year-old will spend
two minutes simmering by herself; a three-year-old,
three minutes; and so on. The child can be put in a
corner, in a chair or in another room if its safe.
This gives
the child a chance to cool off. Krecko teaches parents
the "1-2-3: Magic!" formula, a program developed by
Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D., a child psychologist. In this
program, you count to three before sending the child
to time-out. "It doesn't take the child long to learn
that after three comes time out," says Krecko.
Krecko, Imboden and Wagner all agree that when it
comes to dealing with a toddler's temper tantrum, it's
best not to lose your cool.
"If just yelling 'no' worked, we wouldn't be having a
discussion on temper tantrums," laughs Krecko.
If you feel you're about to lose it yourself, put
your toddler in a safe environment and walk away for a
few minutes. And when it's all said and done, a big
hug and a little "I love you" will help everyone feel
better.
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