To: Alain de Mylcandonai
From: Guillaume Grosscanard,
de Mylcandonai,
While queueing for the latrine yesterday morning, I was momentarily
distracted by the delightful song of a lark. An impertinent young
fellow took advantage of my lapse in concentration to nip in front of me.
I won't upset your delicate constitution by describing exactly what he did in
there, but suffice it to say that when I finally gained access to the facilities
I deeply regretted a) allowing him to go first and b) the third bottle of wine
the night before.
Out here at the front we have little idea of the goings on in Paris, but I have
heard that you are now in charge of sorting out this type of thing. I don't
know the fellow's name, but I am sure that you will be able to track him
down and administer a suitable punishment.
Grosscanard
