From: Comte Coward de Custaad
To: Baron Culvert d'Eau

M. Culvert d'Eeu,

Come, come come, come, come; oh do come on!  I know Lucy certainly did.  Well "tish and pish" if Lucy did not beg me to escort her away from you and your silly nonsense; albeit that I felt myself right up her alley on more than one occasion.  What is more I shall be looking forward to being in said alleyway again and again in the very near future.  According to Lucy your lethargy in state, military and social functions has caused you to become quite incapable of the 'responsibilities' she had expected from you.

Naturally, I can understand that you feel you can easily displace your own shortcomings onto me as one of your peers.  However, if your wit continues to be as sharp as your rapier then I fear I must wear an extra tight corset under my tunic to prevent my sides from splitting with laughter at our forthcoming meeting.  This very fact alone ought to give you some minor satisfaction, but regardless of any outcome, Dear Baron, it is I who will be getting all the "benefits of satisfaction" from this time on....

- De Custaad

PS. If I were to ask you if you were benighted, would your answer be the same as it would to this question?




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