Your Pocket Guide to Speaking Palin-guage (Vol. 1)

Your Pocket Guide to Speaking Palin-guage (Vol. 1) John Ridley

 
http://news.yahoo.com/s/huffpost/20080903/cm_huffpost/123606;_ylt=AvuEsMhYKfZwjUoQCbBjqLGs0NUE

Up in the Twin Cities area folks are speaking a new language. Or, should 
I say Palinguage. It sounds sorta familiar because it's Latin based. But 
different from the plain English we're used to speaking, in Palinguage 
recognizable words take on new meanings. Won't you take a moment to 
learn some Plainguage so you can talk like a hypocritical conservative? 
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REPEAT THE FOLLOWING:

If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified 
candidates you're a "token hire." If you're a conservative and you're 
selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "game changer."

If you live in an Urban area and you get a girl pregnant you're a "baby 
daddy." If you're the same in Alaska you're a "teen father."
(Actually, according to your own MySpace page you're an F'n redneck that 
don't want any kids, but that's too long a phrase for the evil liberal 
media to take out of context and flog morning noon and night).

Black teen pregnancies? A "crisis" in black America. White teen 
pregnancies? A "blessed event."

If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic." Grow up in Alaska eating 
mooseburgers, you're the quintessential "American story."

Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you're "unpatriotic." Name your 
kid Track, you're "colorful."

If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the 
individual you're "reckless." A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a 
"maverick."

If you say that for the "first time in my adult lifetime I'm really 
proud of my country" it makes you "unfit" to be First Lady. If you are a 
registered member of a fringe political group that advocates secession 
that makes you "First Dude."

A DUI from twenty years ago is "old news." A speech given without proper 
citation from twenty years ago is "relevant information."

And, finally, if you're a man and you decide to run for office despite 
your wife's recurrence of cancer you're a "questionable spouse." If 
you're a woman and you decide to run for office despite having five kids 
including a newborn... Well, we don't know what that is 'cause THAT'S 
NOT A FAIR QUESTION TO ASK.

-- 

Linda
*http://freedetainees.org <http://freedetainees.org/>

*



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