At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology
like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars
that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating
the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be
driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a
new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart;in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or
'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that's powered by the sun, more reliable, five
times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent
of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
McNally road maps, even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting
to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish
by 50 per cent or more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
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