Dear Glenn,

Thank you very much for your comprehensive review.
I will reflect these comments to the next revision.

Best regards,

-- tsuno

2018-05-17 17:58 GMT+07:00 Glenn Mansfield Keeni <gl...@cysols.com>:
> Hi Tsunoda,
>    I have completed a pass of the document. The document
> is shaping up well.Once again thanks for the good work.
> The comments follow. I would also recommend a closer check
> for editorial nits in the next draft.
>
> Glenn
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> draft: draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib-06.txt
>
> 1. Please make the usages uniform. e.g.
>    "Multicast VPN (MVPN)" vs "Multicast VPN" (MVPN)
>    MVPN vs Multicast VPN
>    "Inclusive PMSI (I-PMSI)" vs "Inclusive PMSI" (I-PMSI)
>
> 2. Page 3, Sec 1, para 2
>    This document describes managed objects to configure and/or monitor
>    MVPN.
>    s/MVPN/MVPNs/
>
> 3. Page 3, Sec 1.1, para 3
>    s/A PE uses to/A PE uses a P-tunnel to/
> 4. Page 3, Sec 1.1, para 5
>    What is the minimum number of VRFs on a PE? 0? 1? Please update
>    the paragraph accordingly.
>
> 5. Page 4, Sec 3.1 Summary of MIB Module
>
>    s/attribute informations of MVRFs of MVPNs/attributes of MVPNs/
>    s/Configuring some timers/Monitoring and configuring some timers/
>    s/Monitoring attribute informations of PMSIs/
>      Monitoring PMSI attribute information/
>    s/Monitoring advertisement exchanged/Monitoring statistics on
> advertisements
> exchanged/
>
> 6. Table naming.
>     mvpnIpmsiAdvtTable, mvpnInterAsIpmsiAdvtTable, mvpnSpmsiAdvtTable
>    These are tables containing counters about advertisements received.
>    But the names seem to imply that they contain advertisements. Please
>    rename appropriately.
>
>
> 7. Page 5, Sec 3.1 Summary of MIB Module (contd)
>    s/contain information of MVRFs of MVPNs/contain information of MVPNs/
>    s/represetns/represents/
>    s/Selective PMSI (S-PMSI)/S-PMSI/
>    s/mvpnGeneralTable/mvpnGenericTable/
>    s/mvpnSpmsiConfigTable/mvpnSpmsiTable/
>    s/that is advertised/that are advertised/
>
> 8. This MIB, particularly mvpnGenericTable, uses MPLS-L3VPN-STD-MIB. Please
>    mention this explicitly.
>
> 9. Page 62 Sec 4.
>    s/read- write/read-write/
>    s/mvpnGenCmcastRouteProtocol, mvpnGenIpmsiInfo,
>      mvpnGenInterAsPmsiInfo, mvpnGenUmhSelection,
>      mvpnGenCustomerSiteType, mvpnGenSPTunnelLimit, mvpnBgpGenMode,
>      mvpnBgpGenVrfRtImport, mvpnPmsiEncapsulationType,
>      mvpnSpmsiThreshold, mvpnSpmsiPmsiPointer/
>      mvpnBgpGenCmcastRouteWithdrawalTimer,
>      mvpnBgpGenSrcSharedTreeJoinTimer,
>      mvpnBgpGenMsgRateLimit,
>      mvpnBgpGenMaxSpmsiAdRoutes,
>      mvpnBgpGenMaxSpmsiAdRouteFreq,
>      mvpnBgpGenMaxSrcActiveAdRoutes,
>      mvpnBgpGenMaxSrcActiveAdRouteFreq,
>      mvpnSpmsiThreshold/
> 10. Please do the '[TBD]'
>
>
>
>
> On 2018/05/13 18:56, Glenn Mansfield Keeni wrote:
>>
>> Hi Tsunoda,
>>     I have done a review of the MIB. The comments follow.
>> Glenn
>>
>> draft: draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib-06.txt
>>         Only the MIB has been reviewed.
>>
>> COMMENTS:
>>
>> 1. Naming: Please review.
>>          MO: mvpnBgpGenVrfRouteImport:
>>                if it is a condition for import name accordingly
>>
>> 2. Usage:  Please make the usages of the following uniform in the document
>>                        MVPN/mvpn/MVRF
>>                        tunnel type/Tunnel type
>>                        Source AS/source-as
>>
>>
>> 3. Units:  The units for the following MOs are unspecified.
>>          Please check.
>>          MO: mvpnBgpGenCmcastRouteWithdrawalTimer
>>          MO: mvpnBgpGenSrcSharedTreeJoinTimer
>>          MO: mvpnBgpGenMsgRateLimit
>>          MO: mvpnBgpGenMaxSpmsiAdRoutes
>>          MO: mvpnBgpGenMaxSpmsiAdRouteFreq
>>          MO: mvpnBgpGenMaxSrcActiveAdRoutes
>>          MO: mvpnBgpGenMaxSrcActiveAdRouteFreq
>> 4. Semantics:
>>          InetAddress and INetAddressType objects
>>              for several MOs, usage of InetAddressType unknown(0)
>>              is described. In all such cases the corresponding
>>              InetAddress MO value MUST be a string of length 0.
>>              Plese explain that case in the respective DESCRIPTIONs
>>              E.g. mvpnMrouteUpstreamNeighborAddr
>>                   mvpnMrouteNextHopSourceAddr
>>                   mvpnMrouteCmcastSourceAddr
>>                   mvpnMrouteSourceAddr
>>
>> 5. mvpnSpmsiAdvtCmcastSourceAddr OBJECT-TYPE
>>       SYNTAX        InetAddress
>>       ==> corresponding InetAddressType object
>>           mvpnSpmsiAdvtCmcastSourceAddrType is missing
>>
>> 6. Nits:
>>          MO:  mvpnMrouteCmcastSourceAddrType OBJECT-TYPE
>>               DESCRIPTION
>>                   "A value indicating the address family of the address
>>                    contained in mvpnMrouteSourceAddr.
>>               s/mvpnMrouteSourceAddr/mvpnMrouteCmcastSourceAddr/
>>
>> 7. Table descriptions:
>>       mvpnIpmsiAdvtTable
>>       mvpnSpmsiAdvtTable
>>          The DESCRIPTIONs are unclear.
>>              Do the tables 'contain' all advertisements or,
>>              Statistics related to the advertisements?
>>
>>
>> 8. Additional suggestions:
>>     o For INDEX clauses of variable size where the size may potentially
>>       exceed 128 octets, a statement like the following will be good.
>>              Implementors need to be aware that if the total number of
>>              octets in MO1, MO2 and MO3 exceeds NNN, then OIDs of column
>>              instances in this row will have more than 128 sub-identifiers
>>              and cannot be accessed using SNMPv1, SNMPv2c, or SNMPv3.
>>
>>     o In REFERENCES be more specific if possible. Eg.
>>         Current:
>>             mvpnPmsiTunnelIfIndex OBJECT-TYPE
>>                REFERENCE
>>                    "RFC2863
>>         Suggested:
>>             mvpnPmsiTunnelIfIndex OBJECT-TYPE
>>                REFERENCE
>>                    "RFC2863 Sec. 3.1.5
>>
>>
>>
>> On 2018/05/02 6:59, Glenn Mansfield Keeni wrote:
>>>
>>> Hi Tsunoda,
>>>     Thanks for the good work.
>>> I will start reviewing this right away.
>>>
>>> Glenn
>>>
>>> On 2018/05/01 12:14, Hiroshi Tsunoda wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Dear Glenn,
>>>>
>>>> Thank you for waiting the update.
>>>> I have submitted the updated version of
>>>> draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib.
>>>>
>>>> Links to the draft and diff are as follows.
>>>>
>>>> URL:
>>>> https://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib-06.txt
>>>> Htmlized:       https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib-06
>>>> Htmlized: https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib
>>>> Diff: https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib-0
>>>>
>>>> This version contains some major changes as follows.
>>>> I hope this update make the role and usage of the MIB clear for you.
>>>>
>>>> +----------------------------------------------------------+
>>>> Changes:
>>>>
>>>> 1. Support for row creation in all tables is removed
>>>>
>>>>     Reason: The utility of row creation is dubious.
>>>>     It increases complexity of the MIB implementation.
>>>>     Unless an immediate need for row creation, we will go ahead
>>>>     with the current draft and review the need for row creation
>>>>     at a later date if and when it arises.
>>>>
>>>> 2. Added objects to make the role and usage of this MIB clear.
>>>>
>>>>     Reason: This MIB will provide the following management functions.
>>>>
>>>>     - Configuration of MVRF related timers
>>>>
>>>>     - Generation of Notifications to indicate  creation, deletion,
>>>>       and/or modification of MVRFs
>>>>
>>>>     - Generation of Notification  when a member joins or leaves a
>>>>       multicast group
>>>>
>>>>     - Monitoring of the following
>>>>       - attributes of MVRFs of MVPNs
>>>>       - PMSIs
>>>>       - statistics of advertisements exchanged by a PE
>>>>       - routing entries in a MVRF
>>>>       - next-hops for a multicast destination in a MVRF
>>>> +----------------------------------------------------------+
>>>>
>>>> -- tsuno
>>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> MIB-DOCTORS mailing list
>>> mib-doct...@ietf.org
>>> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/mib-doctors
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
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>>
>

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