Those who are still single may learn something from here... 
            Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve 
your marriage & relationship .... 


            During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She 
said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?' 
            I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 
'It depends. Is that your husband?' In all seriousness, she answered 'How do 
you know?' 

            Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's 
weighing on your mind. 

            Here's the answer. 
            EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love 
with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, 
and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit) .. 

            Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a 
completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. 
That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. 

            People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about 
the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; 
doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. 

            Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. 
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. 
It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls 
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it 
happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you 

            The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you 
think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the 
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent 

            At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I 
marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of 
the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone 
else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their 
unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. 

            Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity 
is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, 
excessive TV, or abusive substances. 

            But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. 
It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone 
            You could. 

            And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same 
situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): 


            SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll 
NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it 
day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.' 
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes 
WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. 

            Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific 
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. 

            Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), 
there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise 
program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL 
make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and 
apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. You can 'make' love. 

            Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'.. . Not just a feeling. 

            Remember this always: 

            'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide 
who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.' 



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