Read to the end . . . a new twist ....and also the last line.....;-)

Enjoy the weekend



Hi,

If you turn right , you would be right,
If you turn left, you would be left.

So never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you !
 <http://keralites.net/>

You think English is easy???


1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present 
the present ..

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

<http://keralites.net/>

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. <http://keralites.net/>

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor 
ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't 
in vented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while 
sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if 
we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings 
are square and a guinea pig is neither fromGuinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce 
and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of 
booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? 
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a 
bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats 
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English 
speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what 
language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and 
send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise 
guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in 
which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by 
filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity 
of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all Tha t is why, when 
the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are 
invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'

<http://keralites.net/>
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .
<http://keralites.net/>
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other 
two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, 
but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a 
topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and 
why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we u se it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the 
silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house 
and some guys fix UP the old car . At other times the little word has real 
special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an 
appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed 
UP is special.

And this U P is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . 
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper 
uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it 
takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. I 
f you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is 
used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may 
wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is 
clouding UP When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP ..

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP .

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP, 
so............ it is time to shut UP ..!

Oh . . . one more thing:


What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? 
U-P

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