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Subject: AhYap's Blog
AhYap's Blog
AhYap's Blog
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Deriving the Rule of Happiness (IQ Not Required)
Posted: 26 Oct 2009 04:59 AM PDT
Weird enough, our brain really knows nothing other than comparing. Or should we
say everything has a “meaning” only if we are able to compare it with something
else.
East means nothing if there is no West. Woman means nothing if there is no man.
Tall means nothing when there is no short.
When you say something is cold, it is because you compare it with something
that is hotter.
[If you hold a snake or lizard, yucks, it is cold to you but it is hot to them!]
When you say it is on the east, it is because you are standing on the west. You
are comparing it to where you are standing.
[If you ride a rocket up to the space where you can’t see the earth anymore,
where is EAST? Where is WEST? Where is UP and where is DOWN?]
You say “this is woman” and “that is man” because we compare their … … type of
fruits?
— —
Since now we know everything is about comparing (the old Chinese masters caledl
ityin yang) we can now use it to derive our rule of happiness and hope that we
can be “happily ever after”. First we start with 2 observations.
Observation #1
If we compare ourselves to someone richer, we feel poorer and thus unhappy. On
the other hand if we compare ourselves to someone poorer, we feel richer and
thus more happy!
De deeeeeeeeennnnnnggggggggggggg!
And then,
Observation #2
If “what we want” is more than “what we have”, we feel unfulfilled and unhappy.
On the other hand if “what we have” is more than “what we want”, we feel very
fulfilled and happy!
De de de deeeeeeeeennnnnnggggggggggggg!
So using this 2 basic observations, we can derive the formula/rule of happiness.
Rule #1
To feel rich and happy, always compare yourself with someone poorer than you!
(~don’t laugh!~)
Rule #2
Always make sure “what you want” is so little that “what you have” looks like a
lot!
— —
Is this a joke? Isn’t this sounds like cheating yourself?
No it is not a joke. And Yes, it is cheating! It is a mind trick. Since we know
how the mind works, we try to trick it. Just like how we trick people do to
what we want by offering them choices.
And who cares if it is cheating or a trick? All we need to know is that it
works! The ancient Indians and ancient Chinese has been using this philosophy
since a few thousand years ago! [Unfortunately, “smart” people today who are
supposed to be “smarter” than ancient people seems to forgot about this ancient
wisdom]
If you score 99 in you test, you can be unhappy if you compare yourself to
those scoring 100. Even if there is no one scoring 100, you can still be
unhappy focusing on the 1 mark you didn’t get.
If you are second in the whole school, you can be unhappy if you compare
yourself to the first, even if that is Harvard or Oxford.
If you are Warren Buffett (the second richest man on earth), you can still be
unhappy because you compare yourself to Bill Gates (the richest man on earth)
On the other hand, you can be happier than Bill Gates if all you want is to
watch 8TV and eat strawberry.
You see, why we are suffering today is because we set different rules based on
the same observations. Thanks to all the bestselling motivation and “You can be
rich” type of books. Thanks to the instant idol reality programs. Thanks to the
few instant internet millionaire story that we heard from Google, Facebook and
now Twitter (which get rich faster and faster)!
Unfortunately, we all (including the “motivators”) set the wrong rules. What
rules?
Based on Observation #1, if we compare ourselves to someone richer, we feel
poor and unhappy. So they set their Rule #1 (their solution to observation #1)
as
Their Rule #1 (probably yours too)
To avoid feeling poor and unhappy, make yourself richer and richer so everyone
else is poorer than you!
And then to tackle observation #2, they set their Rule #2.
Their Rule #2 (probably yours too)
In order to get “what we want”, we must increase “what we have”
(double/triple/1 million dollar/4 wives…)!
Yep, it works too. Same observations, same problems but different
solutions/rules/mindset.
But the problem?!?
Why so many celebrities who seems to have everything in the world, take drugs
or even suicide (or die of drug overdosed)? Remember Ko Ko Alan Cheung?
Remember Michael Jackson? Remember the Joker in Batman? Why do people like
Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, which is supposed to be our role models, are
always linked to drugs?
The problem is that when we set the wrong rules and go the opposite direction,
what we get is not happily-ever-after but never-ending-suffering.
You see, at the moment you thought you need to be richer than somebody, or to
have x amount of money before you can be happy, you can’t be happy right now.
Then you thought you need to change that. Instead of using the “dirty” trick by
comparing to someone poorer or reduce the x amount to y so you have more “what
you have” than “what you want” that can happened right now, you decided to put
your happiness into the future.
You do what you are “taught” by the books/society/parents/teacher. You try to
tackle it with the “normal” ways that other people do. You want to make more
money than the person that is richer than you. And you set your financial goal
to x amount of money “you want” in the future that you don’t have right now.
Whether you reach your goal or not, you have made a decision. You have made a
decision to put your happiness into the future in exchange with suffering,
unfulfillment and unhappiness right now. You work hard for the “future,” hope
that one day you can be happy in the “future”. You suffer now.
But then 2 things can happen. The future never comes and you live your entire
live in full regrets. Or the future came and you hit your “ultimate” goal. But
what’s next? After 30 years of fighting and struggling, you finally made it.
You open up a RM48,888 champagne to celebrate with your wife (or mistress since
your wife might be too old for you at that time), buy a big bungalow with 20
rooms and 40 maids and park 20 Porsches in front of your house to show the guy
that used-to-be richer than you that have “motivated” you the last 30 years.
Then what? Because of 30 years of hard root conditioning to your brain, it is
now WIRED (or a better word “FUCKED”!)! Your “mind” is “set”! You now have a
“mindset” that can be driven only by unhappiness and goal, you won’t be able to
stop that! You won’t be able to get happy!
A trained muscle is very hard to be untrained if you do it wrongly! A kid who
is a virgin has no experience in badminton can easily be trained to be a world
champion rather than an OK-OK player who has been practicing and playing with
the wrong tactics! The same goes to the conditioning of your brain and all the
wiring of your brain neurons (Once it is fucked, DHA and EPA can’t help
anymore,they call it “Fucked up brain”)!
After so many years of “practicing”, it becomes a habit. You can’t just stop
after you reach your goal and be happily-ever-after! You have been living in
the “suffering now for the future mode” for so long and when the “future”
really comes, you can’t experience it because of your poor habit, there is no
“now” but only “future”!
So maybe after 2 weeks of fulfillment and satisfaction, your will get
uncomfortable and unhappy again (like Robert Kiyosaki having a vacation in Fiji
Island after he is “free” but can’t even finish his planned vacation and have
to return earlier!). For the last 30 years, you never really learn how to be
happy. Your “happy” software is not installed in your “brain”. The software you
installed, based on the 2 rules you set earlier, is to always compare with
someone better than you!
De deeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnggggggggggggg!
So after 2 weeks, you will start back your old routine, your old habit. You
simply can’t stop. The momentum is so big, the brain is so fucked up. So now,
you find someone even richer and compare yourself to him. You “enjoy” being
“unhappy” again. You increase your “what you want” from x to 1,000 times x so
you need a higher “what you have” to make yourself happy. You set new goals
only to curse yourself more, to a never ending stream of suffering. You live
again in the “future”, expecting one day you will be happy. Unfortunately,
To be HAPPY, it is not in the future. It is RIGHT NOW.
— —
Homework #1
Find 6 people (friends/relatives/neighbors/enemies…) that are poorer than you
and remind yourself everyday that you are richer than them!
[If you end up being 1 of the 6 that is selected by your friends, be proud
because you just make someone happy! Bill Gates will even envy you because he
can’t serve that role, no one can put him in their list!]
Homework #2
Take out your bank account book, divide the balance by 2 and set it as the
amount “you need” to be happy. And remind yourself that anytime you have that
amount, you are happy.
[If you account balance drop, divide it again by 2 to get a new “what you
need” but on the other hand, don’t increase it when you have more money so your
“what you need” is always kept at a low base, making you “richer and richer” in
the future]
— —
It sounds very “ugly” and “unethical” but it is definitely a better alternative
than to set up painful goals such as “I want to be richer than you” or “I want
to make more money .”
Of course, we do have more “beautiful” spiritual ways to attain even better
results, which is the “no comparing” method which should be our ultimate goal
in the future. If you don’t need to compare, how do you know if you are rich or
poor?! It is even more powerful and effective because you don’t even need to
“think”!
But since our mind still like to think a lot and compare a lot, it is a
difficult to stop comparing right now, but it is easier to change the object of
our comparison right now. So we try to cheat by changing the object of our
comparison, by selecting something “better” to compare with! And “mind” you,
cheating the “mind” works! Even this method is “lower standard” like Proton, it
is still a car dude!
Mummy Dog and her Bibi Doggie
Bibi doggie keep chasing its own tail but no matter how fast he “spin”, bibi
doggie still can’t reach his tail!. The mummy dog tells her bibi, “You don’t
need to chase your tail because you will never get it! But it’s already with
you RIGHT NOW, no matter where you go, it will follow you”.
Oh, by the way, your last homework -
Homework #3
Leave me a comment if you like, dislike or even ‘no comment’ about this post.
Do you really have a choice?
— —
Recommended Reading:
* The Power Of Now (當下的力量：找回每時每刻的自己)
* A New Earth
* The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success
*Malaysian can buy books online with 1 day delivery and RM8 shipping from
Kinokuniya!
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