Notices in English for tourists in Gujarat-India

In an Ahmedabad Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.. If you are not a person to do such 
thing is please not to read this notice.

In a Surat hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you 
will be unbearable.

In the elevator in Hotel Tex Pallazo, Surat :
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter 
more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then 
going alphabetically by national order.

In a Baroda hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Jamnagar :
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 
A.M. daily.

In a Ahmedabad hotel near Gujarat College
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Edwards Laundry on Relief Road, Ahmedabad:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Bhavnagar hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the 
bedroom, it is rekvested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In a Anand laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a heritage hotel at Junagadh:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides (on the famous white asses) in Rann of Kutch :
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a 5-Star Hotel cocktail lounge in Ahmedabad:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In the office of a Ahmedabad gynecologist:
Specialist in women and other diseases

In a Bharuch hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

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