I asked my new girlfriend
what sort of books she's interested in,She said: Cheque books.

The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the
price of a new car.

What is the difference between men and pigs? 
A: Pigs don't turn into men when
they drink.

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great
lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then 
expects your pulse to be normal.

Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe
your feet on the mat as you came in? 
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

Q: Why don't dogs marry? 
A: Because they are already
leading a  dog's  life!

Q: What's the diff between mother & wife? 
A: One woman brings you into the
world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

Santa Singh enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside
and
closes it. He does this again and again. 
Why?  Because
his Doctor told him to check the sugar level regularly.

 
   
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