* The Hidden Power of Meaning - Part 2 - Recoding History* * "There is no good nor bad but thinking makes it so." - William Shakespeare*
Last week, we started exploring the idea that humans are 'meaning-makers' - the stories we tell ourselves about what situations mean give us a sense of certainty & a basis for deciding what to think & do. In this article, I'll reveal a simple yet powerful tool you can use to transform the meaning of past events, & make you more resourceful in the present & future. In the films "The Sixth Sense" and "Fight Club", the audience is given some information later on in the story which causes them to re-evaluate the entire film up to that point. The meaning of many of the film's previous scenes changes completely in light of the new information. As we go through our lives, we encounter various situations, decide what they mean, then base subsequent decisions & actions on the meaning we have made. We don't think & act based on the raw sensory data - we think & act on the meaning we have made of the data. Just let that sink in for a moment... * We think & act on the meaning we have made of the data* The experiences we have as we go through our lives don't 'mean' anything - they are neither 'good' nor 'bad'. The only meaning they have is the meaning we each have given them. As we make meaning of each situation, that meaning becomes a basis for future meaning-makings. 1) Choose a stage or situation in your life that turned out alright in the long-run, but at the time you felt worried, anxious or afraid. Make a note of it. For instance, at elementary school, I was small for my age & terrified of getting beaten up. 2) Pretend that the "younger-you" from that time is sitting in the room with you, & ask him/her what that situation meant to them. If you like, you can pretend to be that "younger-you" for a moment to find out "from the inside". In my case, the 7-year old me decided it meant I had to make people like me, & avoid upsetting people. I also decided that pain was something to be afraid of. 3) Ask yourself (the older, wiser you) whether that meaning still applies to you, taking into account the broader perspective you have, & the fact that you have survived whatever it was you were concerned about. In my case, while I'd learned some useful communication skills & the ability to think on my feet, the meaning I'd made at age 7 no longer applied. 4) As you look over your life, what are some of the events & realisations which, if they had known about them at the time, would have made that younger-you feel more resourceful? Make a note of them. Here are some of the things that the 7-year-old me could have done with knowing: · That I would survive (at least into my 40s) · That pain is worth avoiding, but it's nothing to be afraid of · That fighting is a learnable skill, & that it's OK to defend yourself · That bullies are cowards who are trying to make themselves feel big · That if you stand up to bullies, it may hurt at first but they'll eventually leave you alone (I didn't discover this valuable lesson until I was in my teens) NB. I am not an expert on bullying & am not offering this as a strategy for people who are currently being bullied. If you or someone you know is being bullied, please seek out expert advice on the subject. 5) Communicate these discoveries to that younger-you (you can even pretend to be that younger-you & receive the messages from your older, wiser self). Ask that younger-you if there's anything else they need - if there is, find a way to give it to them. Notice & accept any thoughts, feelings & sensations as you communicate with that younger you. 6) Also let that younger-you know that you love them, & that you believe in them - that they matter. Here are some other "good messages" you can communicate to that younger-you. · You're important - you matter · You have a right to be here - you belong · You're here for a reason - there's a purpose for your life · Your opinion counts · You're valuable - you don't have to "do anything" to make yourself valuable You can say these messages, or just imagine the ideas being communicated with a burst of stardust, golden light, or any other imagery that works for you. (Thanks to Robert Dilts for these "positive sponsorship" messages) 7) Invite that younger you to go through life all over again with those resources in place (this can happen quickly, taking only a few seconds), noticing how their experience of events has changed with those resources in place. 8) You may notice a sense of greater resourcefulness as you emerge from this process. You might like to imagine some of the future situations where this resourcefulness will be useful to you. Imagine experiencing several of those before you return to the present & allow all these ideas of yourself to finish integrating for now. Bear in mind that the re-coding in "The Sixth Sense" and "Fight Club" doesn't take any effort - your mind does it automatically once the new information is revealed! As you sleep & dream, you can allow this process of integration to continue as you look forward to discovering how these new learnings can surprise & delight you in the days, weeks & months to come! Best wishes Jamie -- Salam Street Smart NLP! Teddi Prasetya Yuliawan Indonesia NLP Society <http://idnlpsociety.wordpress.com>
