* The Hidden Power of Meaning - Part 5 - How To Transform Worries & Concerns *
Last week we played with changing frame size as a way of changing meaning to create greater resourcefulness & perspective. There's a connection between meaning & the way you feel about things. In this article, I'll show you some weird questions that can transform the way you feel about problems, worries or fears. Practitioners of "The Options Method" have a very interesting view about negative feelings. The idea is that the only reason people feel bad about things is because they think they're supposed to. In general, when people feel bad about something, it's because they think something along the lines of: · feeling bad about the thing means they're a good person, or · feeling bad about the thing will motivate them to sort it out · feeling bad about the thing is their punishment for being bad in some way The approach we're exploring here challenges those beliefs. 1. Make a list of some concerns, things that may have been bothering you until now. This can include changes you may have found difficult to make, problems you haven't been able to solve, even "limiting" beliefs or "negative" feelings. For instance, a person's list might read something like this: - I'm angry at Bob because he was rude to me in front of my boss - I want to get fit, but haven't seemed able to motivate myself to go to the gym - I'm in debt, & I'm worried about it - I'm afraid of public-speaking, & I have to make a presentation at work 2. Next, ask yourself how you feel about each item on the list, & make a note of it. For example... *Concern* *Feeling* I'm angry at Bob because he was rude to me in front of my boss. Angry I want to get fit, but I don't seem to be able to motivate myself to go to the gym. Depressed & frustrated I'm in debt, & I'm worried about it. Worried I'm afraid of public-speaking, & I have to make a presentation at work. Stressed 3. Ask yourself "What connects all of these? What are all these concerns examples of?" Come up with a label, a name for this set of concerns, & make a note of it. (For my examples above, possible labels might be "Expectations" or "State Control".) 4. Choose one of the concerns from the list, & brainstorm your answers to the following questions, making a note of your responses. a. What would it mean if I did not feel [*feeling / state*] about [*issue*] For example: *Issue* *Feeling / State* *What would it mean if I did not feel worried about being in debt?* I'm in debt, & I'm worried about it. Worried · It would mean that I won't be motivated to get out of debt · It would mean that I'm irresponsible · It would mean that I'm going to end up on the street b. What would it mean about ME if I did not feel [*feeling / state*] about [ *issue*] c. What would it mean about THE WORLD if I did not feel [*feeling / state*] about [*issue*] d. What would it mean about THIS ISSUE if I did not feel [*feeling / state*] about [*issue*] e. What would it mean about THIS FEELING if I did not feel [*feeling / state *] about [*issue*] f. Who would I BE if I did not feel [*feeling / state*] about [*issue*] As you look at the list of possible meanings you've come up with, you might like to remind yourself that you've made these up. They're not actually 'true' per se - they're merely stories that you've been telling yourself until now. And isn't it nice to know that the fact that you've made up these stories means that you can make up new, more empowering stories? 5. As you look over the list of possible meanings that you've made, ask yourself "What else could this mean?" *Issue* *Feeling / State* *What else could this mean?* I'm in debt, & I'm worried about it. Worried · It could mean that I trust that everything's going to be OK. · It could mean that I understand that what you focus on increases, so my priority is to start having good feelings about financial matters as I get my spending under control. 6. Take a few moments to allow your useful learnings & realisations from exploring this particular issue to generalise to the other concerns you identified. Have a great week! Best wishes Jamie Jamie Smart director of training [EMAIL PROTECTED] If you have found this tip useful, please share it with any friends, family, colleagues and associates who you think will be interested. You are welcome to reprint it (with copyright and subscription information) and continue to enjoy the tips. I am always grateful for any comments, criticisms or other feedback that you may have. Please send them to [EMAIL PROTECTED] -- Salam Street Smart NLP! Teddi Prasetya Yuliawan Indonesia NLP Society <http://idnlpsociety.wordpress.com>
