Hi All,
This came from another cycling list. Sheer fantasy, but refreshing
nonetheless...
---
Bush Dream Speech
Adam Novitt
Northampton, MA
Good evening my fellow Americans, tonight I am going to introduce a new
phase in America�s war on terror, America has a new weapon. >>Shot
widens
to show GWB standing behind steel bicycle<< What I am talking about is,
of
course, the bicycle. This bicycle, produced entirely from lugged
American
steel has the power to stop terrorism, reduce America�s dependence on
foreign oil, and produce a healthier happier American population.
The fact is that Americas heavy dependence on oil produced in unstable
and
often times non democratic regimes. >>points to Saudi Arabia with wooden
pointer<< is going to keep America firmly within the sights of
terrorist.
We have to accept that we can�t have spies in every alley, in every
nation
in the world so have to start here, at home to create a system that
minimizes our contribution to and dependence on dictatorships like Saudi
Arabia.
Moreover, America is now far and away the most overweight nation in the
world, if we did, and I�d like nothing less, have to fight a war in
some far
corner of the world we�d need to be a nation of strong healthy people.
Regular cycling, in place of auto trips can provide this. We�d have a
more
productive work force that takes less days off, neighbors that actually
know
one and the and their neighborhoods, more pleasant and positive
interactions
with each other.
That�s why, tonight, I am announcing the most ambitious plan ever to
lessen
our dependence on terrorist states. First, the national bikeway bill.
We�re going to make is safe, convenient and easy for every person in
America
to ride to and from work, essential services, and town centers. This
included so called �bike paths� and making safer road. Many may not
know
this but many American children can�t ride to school! The American
Bikeway
bill will soon change this. Tests have repeatedly shown that exercise
and
academic performance are highly correlated and that physical activity
patterns are established very early in life. This is the best
investment I
could hope to make with your tax dollars.
Next, the National Cycle Producers Act. We�re going to provide low cost
loans to thousands of independent bicycle dealers to keep bicycle
repair and
advice accessible, local and affordable. We�re going to concentrate on
poor and urban areas. We�re also going to extend grant money and loans
to
the American steel industry to develop the best cycle tubing in the
world to
meet huge demands created by the thousands of local frame producers the
we�ll fund with micro loans. These are LOANS, the government has
created
industries before but this time we�re creating more than that, we�re
revolutionizing how we�ll see ourselves how the world will see us.
Lastly We�ll have a multi million dollar ad campaign to increase the
acceptance of cycling. We�ve cut smoking way back in America, now it�s
time
to put that to work. We�ll ride to a fitter, healthier, safer America.
All
of this will cost less than 10 days of war in Iraq.
As CS Lewis said, any action that does not increase the happiness and
contentedness of ordinary citizens is not the business of government. I
intend to make these the watchwords of whatever days I may have left in
the
office of president.
Thank you, god night and God bless.
Adam
--------
Michael Lemberger
Madison WI
--
"Let us learn our lessons. Never, never, never believe any war will be
smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can
measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who
yields to war fever must realize that, once the signal is given, he is
no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and
uncontrollable events." - Winston Churchill
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