So here i am in OOPSLA, the nerdiest of nerd conventions... I have been somewhat hallucinatory after a 14 hour trip to Tampa Bay preceeded by a 2 hours of sleep preceeded by a week of drinking binges to send of my pal Simms, who is perpetually having goodby parties but never seems to leave.
I guess it first struck me that this was not San Francisco, when i noticed the odd coincidence that of the three cars parked out front of the very fancy hotel hosting the event, all three were ferraris. Then also noticing the odd juxtaposition of the super-swank restroom (with cloth towels), and the copious amounts of chewing tobacco left in the urinal by the previous client. It's not just city of Tampa that's exaggerating my disorientation however... I have to admit, i've never previously felt too much sympathy for the argument that pat-downs and metal-detectors are invasions of privacy and violations of my 4th amendment rights. But my experience travelling through american airports somewhat changed my opinion. Initially, i was merely perplexed as to how one is expected to feel significantly more secure when groups of 2-6 M16 toting teenagers with bad haircuts are lounging around the airport. Then when it was my turn to step through the screening process, i discovered that i too was quite embarrased at the hoops through which i had to jump to board an airplane. First, i took my laptop out of my bag, and passed it through the x-ray machine separately... then after my watch set the metal detector off, i was scanned closely by a wand-man, required to remove my shoes, and pass them through the x-ray machine (with about 200 people impatiently waiting in line behind me), patted down very throuroughly, and my bag submitted to a random chemical test. Having passed the chemical test, an argument ensued between the various members guardians of liberty assigned to my particular metal detector as to whether my 1.5" nail clipper constituted a significan enough breach of security to warrant further problems. Fortunately for me, i was saved. The FAA had decided that day that fingernail clippers were ok, it's only toenail clippers that are tools of terrorists. Back to OOPSLA... home of the geekiest computer geeks in the world.... It's about as close to JavaOne, as D&D is to football. I have to admit is interesting to see what the real minds behind the software methodologies we take for granted are actually like, but overall, these dudes could seriously use some sun. I feel fairly secure in using the pronoun 'dude' as the male population here outnumbers the female by at least 50-1. And of all the women here, at the mixer, i do believe i saw a total 2 attractive women. Both of which were surrounded by groups of at least 10 men whom i can only assume held dual PhDs in computer science and Klingon grammar. Highlights: I was seriously dissed by one of the leading minds in Concurrent Programming when he discovered i didn't have a degree of any sort. (Bet he'll be bummed when he finds out _I_ have a girlfriend) I met 2 really interesting vietnamese grad students. One from lausanne, and the other from toronto.. Niether of which really liked computer science, but felt it was more interesting than economics or mathematics. (i'm still not sure why they can't study something they actually do like) Sometimes i wonder what i'm missing by never having gone to college... This convention is innundated by the attitude that theoretical work is where it's at, and anyone that actually builds anything is so lame as to be beneath contempt. About the lowest anyone is willing to admit to stooping is developing prototype frameworks to demonstrate their OO design principles of I wonder if that's how i would have turned out if i had gone to college. Would i be Lorin Kobashigawa-Bates renouned pot-bellied, pasty-faced, pretentiously poorly-dressed, moustached computer super-ego? It's certainly how i was raised. I mean the burning question throughout my childhood, was not would i go to college, but would i be able to find a suitable course of study that was still untainted by the possibilities of any level of financial reward? Overall, i am learning a tremendous amount about computing. I keep having these wierd flashbacks to my fencing days though. The venues are almost identical, the participants are all overeducated white men, the attitudes of the hotshots are similar, and if i looked closely i'm pretty sure i could find at least a couple of people i recognize. that's all, hope the length of this doesn't offend anyone :) ciao, -Lkb
