'I just thought about what I have to lose, and it was easy,' Miami RB
says [image:
Image: Ricky
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Since
2004, Dolphins running back Ricky Williams has played only 16 NFL games,
including three this year.
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MIAMI - Ricky Williams says he was briefly tempted to smoke marijuana during
the Miami Dolphins' bye weekend, an act that could have ended his
roller-coaster NFL career.
Williams has been in the league's substance-abuse program since 2002 and has
tested positive for marijuana.
Williams told The Miami Herald for Tuesday's editions that when players were
given Friday off, "automatically your mind, which is so constrained since
training camp began ... says, 'I'm free, what can I do?"'
Story continues below
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"So there was definitely an urge," he said. "But I just thought about what I
have to lose, and it was easy. The urge didn't last very long."
Since 2004, the Dolphins running back has played only 16 NFL games,
including three this year. If Williams were to smoke marijuana again, he
would likely be out of the NFL for good because he has already violated the
league drug policy four times.
"There's no space, no wiggle room for me," Williams said.
He said that doesn't scare him, because he feels he's in control and on the
right path. He said he successfully combated the latest urge to smoke by
meditating instead, which gives him the same "feeling of being free" as
marijuana.
"A lot of times when people have some kind of addiction, what happens is
they make a mistake and trip up and afterward say, 'I don't know what I was
thinking,"' he said. "If you always try to be aware of what is going on in
your mind, you won't ever get to that point where it's too late."
The 1998 Heisman Trophy winner and 2002 NFL rushing champion said it's
normal to have an urge to smoke. Williams is tested nine times per month on
a random basis. The man who administers the urinalysis for the NFL sometimes
shows up at Williams' home before dawn.
Williams said he will not smoke marijuana again while he's in the NFL, but
he's uncertain whether he'll abstain when his career ends.
"I'd be lying if I said I'm never going to do it again after I'm done," he
said. "I don't know. I don't spend much time thinking about it."
--
"Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over
their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change."
- Malcolm X, Malcolm X Speaks, 1965
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