Lee,
There is, might you have guessed, no standard for how they orient the position
of those connectors, although the ones I can feel from here 
have the tab pointing at the "talk" side of the handset.

The hole is a longish triangle, and if you feel in the shorter side of
this triangle with a fingernial, you may bee able to feel the  contacts
that match those on the plug which are on the 
opposite side from the little tab.

O.K. the hole isn't quite a triangle, but almost, it's actually a tripizoid, 
and the tab  
goes on the shortest side of said trapazoid.

Good luck, it's probably fixed by now.
tom


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