"I am sure Roberto Mancini has already signed a princely extension with
Inter. He's a better negotiator than a Coach - he was clever enough to put pen
to paper before the Valencia game."
Luciano Moggi may have had his mobile confiscated, but he evidently still
has his crystal ball - he said this before the Champions League exit.
"Anyone who punches someone from behind and then runs away is a coward."
Mancini's first rule of Fight Club is. don't run away.
"Carlos Marchena was making fun of Nicolas Burdisso in Spanish.
Unfortunately for him, we have 15 Spanish speaking players and he picked the
wrong one."
With odds like that, Francesco Toldo, he was always asking for trouble.
"The police were there, there was more traffic than in the centre of
Milan at rush hour."
Toldo looks for the bus lane in the Valencia locker room.
"The police managed to block me and I didn't move from there. I wasn't
even entirely sure who I was looking for at that stage, so I was in the dark."
The Inter goalkeeper was a man on a mission, he was just a little unclear
on the target.
"My goal required strength, technique and a little bit of samba."
Amantino Mancini brings 'Dirty Dancing' to the football field.
"I managed to do a move on Valerio Bertotto in Udinese-Roma where I did
eight stepovers, but unfortunately I wasn't able to score!"
Mancini whips the 'Stepover King' crown off Cristiano Ronaldo's head.
"We are still second in the table and notching up results consistently.
These lads have done what they needed to - and more - but some smarty-pants
like to suggest they are failing."
Luciano Spalletti hasn't quite got the hang of insulting his critics.
"I am leaving football and this time I'm not joking."
Maurizio Zamparini - the boy who cried 'quit'.
"I think the problem might be me and not Palermo per se. An honest and
straight-talking person like me is not suited to this type of football."
Zamparini can be trusted. Every time he says something contradicting what
he said yesterday, he honestly believes it.
"When I score a brace and so does Alessandro Gamberini in the same match,
it makes my achievement look bad!"
Luca Toni doesn't want to be associated with the likes of the Fiorentina
defender who had never previously netted in 113 Serie A games.
"You never announce your objectives until after you have achieved them."
Delio Rossi finds a foolproof method of avoiding failure.
"It's not easy to create 10 scoring opportunities against just one of
theirs and still lose."
Alberto Malesani can be proud of his uniquely awful Udinese.
"This is a team that gives its best when it's not under too much stress.
Now that we have achieved safety, we can focus on other goals, but we cannot
set deadlines that will put pressure on us, because then we'd be damaging
ourselves."
Gigi Cagni walks the psychological tightrope at anxious Empoli.
"We need to clone someone like Pavel Nedved."
Boss Didier Deschamps comes up with a novel way of keeping Juventus
competitive before any more big name players leave.
"I think Milan, Bayern and Manchester United will all go through. But
I've lost quite a bit of money during my betting days so I'd warn everyone to
not gamble."
Unfortunately for Gigi Buffon, his luck seems to have changed after all
three teams progressed in the Champions League.
"If I was taking part in this championship with my Brescia side
containing Roberto Baggio then we would be second or third in the League."
If veteran boss Carlo Mazzone was being honest, he'd admit he was
stretching the truth.
"Sooner or later, I will pose naked to silence those who say I'm fat."
Ronaldo promises to lose his clothes, but probably not before he loses a
few kilos.
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