I have a thing or two I might able to stretch/condense into 5 minutes.

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OkCTwsycb4S3DloZuMIYeXpLFqw5LaMhXC2ymhreVXNWMw9YGuAYdfmAbwomoPSyFJuFn2x8
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MOTD on Pungenday, the 32nd of Confusion, in the YOLD 3168:
Iff 0=0

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