Nice, really nice. ROTFLMAO. I think I'll print it and put it somewhere I'll be
retreating when junior starts to get to me. At least I'll return to my maternal
tasks with a smile on my face.
Thanks Ronn.
Ronn Blankenship schreef:
> "When I was younger, I remember receiving the inevitable homework
> assignment to write an essay on "something I am thankful for." Then, I'd
> spend a lot of time sitting in my room trying to figure out just what in
> the world that could possibly be; and I'd end up writing down everything I
> could think of from God to environmental consciousness. But after
> having children, my priorities have clearly changed:
>
> BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful to have been born the USA, the most
> powerful free democracy in the world. [Don't blame me. That's what it said.]
> AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful for Velcro tennis shoes. As well as saving
> valuable time, now I can hear the sound of my son taking off his shoes --
> which gives me three extra seconds to activate the safety locks on the back
> seat windows right before he hurls them out of the car and onto the freeway.
>
> BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the recycling program which will
> preserve our natural resources and prevent the overloading of landfills.
> AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful for swim diapers because every time my son
> wanders into water in plain disposables, he ends up wearing a blimp the
> size of, say, New Jersey, on his bottom.
>
> BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for fresh, organic vegetables.
> AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful for microwaveable macaroni and cheese --
> without which my children would be surviving on about three bites of cereal
> and their own spit.
>
> BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the opportunity to obtain a college
> education and have a higher quality of life than my ancestors.
> AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful to finish a complete thought without being
> interrupted.
>
> BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for holistic medicine and natural herbs.
> AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful for pediatric cough syrup guaranteed to
> "cause drowsiness" in young children.
>
> BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic
> foreign countries so I could experience a different way of life in a new
> culture.
> AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful to have time to make it all the way down the
> driveway to get the mail.
>
> BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook.
> AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful for the butterball turkey hotline.
>
> BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my
> loved ones.
> AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.
>
> BEFORE CHILDREN: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture,
> a nice car and trendy clothes.
> AFTER CHILDREN : I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses my good shoes.
