RE: "landmine" analysis for Jeroen, prologue (L3)

[Baardwijk, J. van DTO/SLBD/BGM/SVM/SGM]

> -----Oorspronkelijk bericht-----
> Van: Marvin Long, Jr. [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> Verzonden: Geen
> Aan: '[EMAIL PROTECTED]'
> Onderwerp: RE: "landmine" analysis for Jeroen, prologue (L3)

> > > Ding #1 to Jeroen:  instead of clarifying the fact that he has no
> > > intent to sue Bob, he rubs Bob's nose in it and says that he's
> > > practically confessed to slander.
> >
> > But I did clarify later that I have no intend to sue Bob (or anyone
> > else for that matter). Minus one ding? (Do you need to borrow Jo 
> > Anne's magic Wand of Dings -1 for that?)
> 
> Since I shouldn't have used the wand in the first place, let's not
> think in terms of dings anymore.  Let's think, rather, in doing what's
> needed to make things right or to come to a truce.  Have you offered
> everything in the way of clarification and/or apology that you can and
> should?

I believe I have offered ample clarification. Since I did not issue any
threats (even though some people misinterpret my statement as such), I see
no reason for apology -- why apologize for a threat I didn't make?


> > > Ding #2 to Jeroen:  in response to Bob's statement that he'll
> > > consider leaving the list, Jeroen basically ushers Bob to the door 
> > > and implies he won't be missed
> >
> > Hey, Bob said he would consider unsubscribing; I was just saving him
> > the trouble of having to figure out for himself how to do that! I
> > was just trying to be helpful!   :-)
> >
> > (Minus one ding?)
> 
> Ok, I can think of a couple of ways to read this.

<snip>

> The fact is that I simply don't know, and so what we have here is a
> situation ripe for misunderstanding.  "What we have here, boy, is a
> failure to communicate."  My gut instinct is that you are being
> evasive because you're using an idiomatic form of speech typical of
> when people try to deflect criticism rather than actually respond to
> it.
> 
> But that's just my gut, and what does it know, right?  So let's try
> again.
> Please explain what you actually mean, in all seriousness, without
> smileyfaces and what-not, so that I may understand your true intent.

Again, I was only being helpful. Bob announced he was considering leaving
the list, so I provided him with the information necessary to do so.

I really don't want anyone to leave the list. However, if someone *does*
decide to leave (be it Bob or someone else), I won't loose any sleep over
it. No matter how valuable someone's contributions may be, everyone is free
to leave when so desired.


> The problem, as I understand it, is this:
> Jeroen believes that he is currently, and has been for a long time,
> frequently misunderstood by other Brinellers for reasons he doesn't 
> quite grasp.  He wants to know why this happens, presumably so that he
> and other Brinellers can take steps to prevent future misunderstanding.
> 
> As I understand it, these misunderstandings fall basically into two
> categories:
> 1) Misunderstood arguments--that is, Jeroen argues one point, and then
> other parties miss that point and go off on some other tangent; and
> 2) Unintendend offense--that is, somebody takes personal offense at
> something that Jeroen believes to be innocuous and inoffensive

I think your understanding is correct.

Just to be complete, I must explain what I meant with the "other things I'm
not exactly happy about", as they are related to misunderstanding of my
posts. The first one is the ocassional practice of putting words in my
mouth. The second one (and the most important one) is formed by accusations
without proof, based on misinterpretation of my posts.


> > Ah, letting *me* do the archive-digging. Clever move...   :-)
> 
> It's not *just* that. <g>  There's also the possibility that I'll pick
> examples which don't hit at whatever you think the heart of the problem
> is, in which case I'll end up wasting a lot of time and effort.  I'm
> not interested in ancient history, just recent threads.  If something
> jumps out at you, if it just begs for explanation, then by all means 
> let me know.  Otherwise I'll just do my best.

How far back in time am I allowed to go? I got a major case for you, dating
back to late 1998.


Jeroen

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