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November 22, 2001
NOTE FROM JOHN:
The new "Star Trek" movie, starring the Next
Generation crew, began filming last week.
The Top 7 Surprises in the New "Star Trek" Movie
7> Commander Riker removed from the bridge and kept at an
undisclosed secure location, just in case.
6> Musical number where Picard manages to rhyme "petulance" and
"flatulence."
5> "Captain, we're receiving a hail!"
"On screen."
"We are the Borg. All your starbases are belong to us!"
4> Troi crippled when she and Worf finally do the naked pretzel.
3> Wesley Crusher rejoins the crew as the "smart" member of the
hit Federation boy-band, *NPhase.
2> Wesley reappears, with a lightning-shaped scar, a broom
stick, and a take-no-prisoners-of-Azkaban attitude.
and the Number 1 Surprise in the New "Star Trek" Movie...
1> After Brent Spiner refuses to appear, Commander Data is
played by an Xbox.
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 25 submissions from 7 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
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Mike Sarno, Towanda, PA -- 1, 4, 6 (2nd #1,
Hat trick!)
Dave Hill, Centennial, CO -- 2
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 3, 7
Steve Thomas, Atlanta, GA -- 5
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- RU list name
John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- Prime Director
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Surprises in the New "Star Trek" Movie
RUNNERS UP list -- Disengaging
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Worf remains completely calm after being called a coward, thanks
to those anger management courses that Starfleet required him to
take.
(Steve Thomas, Atlanta, GA)
Patrick Stewart borrows Shatner's toupee. Hilarity ensues.
(Dave Hill, Centennial, CO)
Weak plot that would've maybe made an average one-hour episode of
the regular TV series stretched out to two hours (oh, wait, you
said "Surprises!").
(Steve Thomas, Atlanta, GA)
Script obviously rushed through development as evidenced by
antagonist "Villainus."
(Mike Sarno, Towanda, PA)
In an effort to get more women in the theater, Wil Wheaton has
been replaced by Leonardo DiCaprio in the role of Wesley Crusher.
(Peter Heltzer, Wheeling, IL)
For an odd numbered movie it's actually good.
(Peter Heltzer, Wheeling, IL)
Surprise cameo by Bill Clinton as the womanizing Klingon
Cl'inton.
(Kristian L. Jensen, Gothenburg, Sweden)
Commander Riker can't figure out why nobody is interested in the
Alien Autopsy film he's trying to sell. Then people start
wondering what happened to Worf.
(Dave Hill, Centennial, CO)
Look -- in the background -- is that Harry Potter, doing a
fly-by?
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Counselor Troi senses "an exhausted plot premise."
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
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