From the "I am *not* making this up!" department . . .
Bin Laden in Utah? That's what federal agents are being told Scripps Howard News Service Jan 3 2002 12:00AM SALT LAKE CITY _ Scores of Utahns apparently believe that Osama bin Laden is hiding out in the Beehive State -- perhaps drawn there by his proclivity toward plural marriage or his penchant for desert climes. Federal agents in Salt Lake City say they've fielded dozens of reports that the accused terrorist mastermind has been spotted on the freeway, in the mall or eating a Big Mac and fries at McDonald's. "We've had a bunch of bin Laden sightings," said Special Agent Kevin Eaton. The reports have increased since U. S. Special Forces began scouring Afghanistan cave-by-cave for bin Laden, who remains at large. "It is pretty surprising how many people really believe he is here," Eaton said.[1] But although bin Laden has been spotted in Utah more often than Elvis, at least since the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, "We have checked every cave in town and turned up nothing," asserted Lt. Charles Illsley of the West Valley City Police Department.[2] Still, Utah authorities say they're ready in case he does show. Bin Laden's visage _ along with the faces of many of his most notorious al-Qaida operatives _ has been entered into the computer database of a security system at the E Center, host of the Olympic hockey games next month. The system scans multiple faces as visitors pass through screening locations and compares features with mathematically coded data. Eyeglasses or other variables don't affect the likelihood of a match. "Even if (bin Laden) shaves off his beard it won't matter," Illsley said. "If he walks in front of one of our cameras, we've got him."[3] And while FBI agents and their counterparts at police agencies may treat bin Laden sightings with a bit of understandable skepticism, all tips are followed up _ at least cursorily. "If he's really around, we'll find him," Illsley said. "We are always vigilant." � Copyright 2001 (Minneapolis, MN) Star Tribune. All rights reserved. _______________ [1] Why not? To get $25 million (the amount of the reward that has been offered for bin Laden's capture) in Utah, you'd have to work 50 million hours (and save every penny). Just remember to pay your tithing if you do get the reward. [2] Someone help me here. Exactly how many caves are located within the WVC city limits? Or are they now calling Kennecott's big hole a "cave"? [3] Oh, really? According to _The Register_ in an article dated 27/09/2001 entitled "Face recognition useless for crowd surveillance", the chief operating officer of an the imaging company involved in a simulated real-world test said, "[T]o detect 90 per cent of terrorists we'd need to raise an alarm for one in every three people passing through the airport. It's absolutely inconceivable that any security system could be built around this kind of performance[.]" (The entire article is available at <http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/23559.html>) _______________ -- Ronn! :)
