I know Ronn usually posts these, but thought I'd slip in first :) As usual,
the also-rans are much better than the finalized list.
Jon
January 17, 2002
NOTE FROM JOHN:
Welcome back! We had a wonderful holiday season
here at TopFive SciFi HQ here in L-5 orbit, and we
hope you did as well. In fact, we had such a
relaxing vacation that it got us wondering what
some of our favorite SciFi characters did on
*their* vacations...
The Top 8 Things Science Fiction
Characters Did On Their Holiday Vacations
8> Went to the beach and ate an ice-cream. Disarmed a
thermonuclear device and saved the world. It was
mint chocolate-chip.
7> Hammerhead: Received a turtleneck from Greedo, said, "Oh...
how, uh... thoughtful."
6> The Borg: Opened a temporal vortex to 1904 Bedford Falls, to
prevent George Bailey from ever being born.
5> Spock: Same as every year; after watching Dr. McCoy getting
sentimentally drunk, it is only logical that one should
short-sheet his bed.
4> R. Daneel Olivaw: Had a series of cheap, meaningless
relationships with a toaster, a photocopier and the traffic
light at Main & Fifth.
3> Ultraman: Planted a nice bonsai garden/tumbling mat in
downtown Tokyo.
2> Queen Amidala: Put shiny head-ornaments back into their little
boxes until next year.
and the Number 1 Thing a Science Fiction
Character Did On Their Holiday Vacation...
1> It was a typical holiday for John Hammond: A wee bit of
egg-nog, a yule log in the fireplace, and the bonnie, wee
clones of Santa's elves knocking about the workshop on Isla
Navidad...
[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
Things Science Fiction Characters Did On Their Holiday Vacations
RUNNERS UP list -- Humor Gone AWOL
------------------------------------------------------------------
Ewoks: Continued their militant bombing campaign against occupied
Furby territory.
(Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
The Tick: Liked holiday time off; cancelled the TV series!
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Dave Lister: Did you know that if you cook a space weevil just
right and cover it with curry sauce, it almost tastes like a
traditional Christmas turkey vindaloo?
(Jaqk Brounstein, Bellingham, WA)
Captain Kirk: He was able to get a lot more than a kiss at
midnight, if you know what I mean.
(Jaqk Brounstein, Bellingham, WA)
Frodo Baggins: Treated himself to a long over due foot bath and
massage.
(Peter Heltzer, Wheeling, IL)
Luke Skywalker: Just stayed home and polished the ol' light
saber.
(David Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL)
Quark: Spent the holidays convincing himself that the seasonal
profits more than made up for the humiliation of dressing like an
elf.
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
Arthur Dent: Discovered that the Nutri-Matic Drinks Synthesizer
can't produce decent eggnog, either.
(Jaqk Brounstein, Bellingham, WA)
Capt. Picard: Finally gave in and answered one of those annoying
commercials where Admiral Kirk admits that he's not only the Hair
Club For Men's president, he's also a member.
(Peter Heltzer, Wheeling, IL)
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
Chewbacca was certainly enjoying his week at the spa... until they
brought out the leg-waxing kit.
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Things Science Fiction Characters Did On Their Holiday Vacations
HONORABLE MENTION list -- Missile Toes
------------------------------------------------------------------
Fox Mulder: Did some investigating at Monster.com.
(Toby Click, Macon, GA)
Chewbacca: Took his annual flea and tick bath.
(Peter Heltzer, Wheeling, IL)
Gandalf: Took off all his clothes, covered himself with honey,
then rolled around in $100 bills
(Toby Click, Macon, GA)
Fox Mulder: Shared a hunting cabin with Sasquatch.
(Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
Tron: Debugged himself.
(Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL)
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