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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- SCIENCE FICTION
http://www.topfive.com/fivers.shtml
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April 11, 2002
NOTE FROM JOHN:
The Mayor of Kansas City has declared April 25-28
to be "Nebula Awards Weekend" in Kansas City to
coincide with the awards weekend to be held there
by the Kansas City SF & Fantasy Society and the SF
& Fantasy Writers of America. Our friends running
the KC Society have asked us to help out with a list:
The Top 5 Signs It's Nebula Awards Weekend in Kansas City
5> Hookers on Second Avenue offer to assist with the Captain's
Log.
4> The festive release of several cloned carnosaurs across the
river to Kansas tatooed with the phrase, "Greetings to the
Creationist's Paradise" across their stomachs.
3> Pale pasty guys in the riverboat casino: Check.
Guys hitting on the cocktail waitress and failing: Check.
Guys unable to hold their alcohol: Check.
Guys wearing fake Spock ears: Convention must be in town.
2> It's raining X-Men.
and the Number 1 Sign It's Nebula
Awards Weekend in Kansas City...
1> Good Kansas City is geared up to do battle with Evil
Goateed Kansas City.
[ Copyright 2002 by Chris White ]
[ http://www.topfive.com ]
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Selected from 24 submissions from 7 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
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Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 1, 2, 5 (Hat trick, 4th #1!)
Peter Heltzer, Wheeling, IL -- 3
Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL -- 4
Richard Lipp, Kansas City, MO -- Topic
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- RU List Name
John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- Prime Director
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Signs It's Nebula Awards Weekend in Kansas City
RUNNERS UP list -- Nebulous Humor
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All the telescopes in town are pointed up towards the sky instead of at
Mary Ellen's bedroom.
(Peter Heltzer, Wheeling, IL)
10% more crop circles and cattle mutilations.
(Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD)
As a tribute, the local Chamber of Commerce uses advanced technology to
"borrow for the weekend" the St. Louis arch.
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru let Luke take the weekend off from the farm to attend.
(Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD)
The skeptics ask for proof that this is really the "Show Me" state at the
local strip clubs.
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
They're rolling out the red carpet, providing banquets and transportation,
and... OMIGOD...RUN FOR YOUR LIVES...They're POD PEOPLE!!!
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)
The Royals' new starting pitcher has 8 arms and pulsating antennae.
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
All the performers in the Blues clubs are singing about hard times mining
spice on Arrakis.
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
Pub brawls erupt between Pournelle fans and Niven fans.
(Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)
A family reunion of Howard families from across three multiverses leave
little room for convention attendees... or residents, for that matter.
(Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL)
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