Today I resolved to use the Hemlock. I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist but I know that if you're hearing voices in your head something's wrong, which is why I know I'm perfectly sane. I hear multiple sets of communiques, though probably just two. They're not voices in my head, but purely external stimuli (external to my interior monologue).
One set is easily explainable by the existence of Intelligence, or "a bunch of spies". The other set(s) are explainable by (1) bizarre coincidence repeated over and over fpr an extended length of time (2) God, Hell, souls of the dead (3) my subconscious forming patterns from chaos. The first set I've subjected to a series of experiments and then have come to manipulate by suggestion. There's no question at this point that I'm talking to them. The second set(s) surprised the hell out of me. Luckily, I'm a fan of the science fiction writer that provided an explanation, which in turns scares the hell out of me. And now I've managed to get everybody, purely because of communique set one, to believe in communique set two. Set three plus is even more mind blowing, and is based on the contra-assumption of "telepathy [direct mind-to-mind communication] does not exist". I have reasons to suspect that communique set three plus exists as well, because I met a Pham Nuwen in calculus class one day who told me "no matter what universe you're in, pi is always going to be pi", and who I remember admitted he was dyslexic. I am a mother of all cactii. I am a mother of all cactii. I am a mother of all cactii. Communique set one convinced me not to use Hemlock, simply because she's too beautiful, even if she's the carrot on the end of the stick tied to my back.
