Yes, but....why not regard them all simply as humans?
> ----- Begin forwarded message -----
>
> I have no idea whether Dennis Miller actually wrote this or not, but its
> certainly in his style...
>
> ------
>
> DENNIS MILLER'S EXECUTIVE SUMMARY ON THE MID-EAST CONFLICT:
>
> A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service to
> all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of the
> Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really need. Don't
> thank me. I'm a giver.
>
> Here we go:
>
> The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about
> that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up
> word. Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan,"
> "Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern invention.
>
> Before the Israelis won the land in war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, and the
> West Bank was owned by Jordan, and there were no" Palestinians" then. As
> soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as
> basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the "Palestinians," weeping
for
> their deep bond with their lost "land" and "nation."
>
> So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" anymore
to
> describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths until
> someone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them what they
> are: "Other Arabs From The Same General Area Who Are In Deep Denial About
> Never Being Able To Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap
> Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death." I
> know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this, then:
> "Adjacent Jew-Haters."
>
> Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just one
> more thing. No, they don't. They could've had
> their own country anytime in the last thirty years, especially two years
> ago at Camp David. But if you have your own country, you have to have
> traffic lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse,
you
> actually have to figure out some way to make a living. That's no fun.
>
> No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region want:
> Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course-that's where
the
> real fun is-but mostly they want Israel. Why? For one thing, trying to
> destroy Israel-or "The Zionist Entity" as their textbooks call it-for the
> last fifty years has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the
> attention of their own people away from the fact that they're the
> blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest, and tribally backward on God's
Earth,
> and if you've ever been around God's Earth, you know that's really saying
> something. It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes
> poetic about the great history and culture of the Muslim Mideast. Unless
> I'm missing something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since
> Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one.
>
> Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five million
> Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel as a
> pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks
> swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, everyone
will
> be pals.
>
> Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to
> obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths to
> drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding.
>
> My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Just reverse
> the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five million Arabs. I
> was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the Jews
> strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course not.
> Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for generations to
> drive a tiny Arab state into the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at the
> murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and believing horrible lies
> about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood of children? Disgusting.
> No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews
> would ever do to people is debate them to death.
>
> Mr. Bush is walking a tightrope. I understand that with vital operations
> coming up against Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as Americans, to
> try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and, after all, that
> can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of supermodels who've just
> had their drugs taken away. However, in any big-picture strategy, there's
> always a danger of losing moral weight.
>
> We've already lost some.
>
> After September 11 our president told us and the world he was going to
root
> out all terrorists and the countries that supported them. Beautiful. Then
> the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent of an
> Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to do the same thing
we
> did, and we tell them to show restraint. If America were being attacked
> with an Oklahoma City every day, we would all very shortly be screaming
for
> the administration to just be done with it and kill everything south of
the
> Mediterranean and east of the Jordan. (Hey, wait a minute, that's
actually
> not such a bad id...uh, that is, what a horrible thought, yeah, horrible.)
>
> ----- End of forwarded message -----
>
