----- Original Message ----- From: "Dave Zappa" <> Newsgroups: alt.music.mike-keneally Sent: Saturday, June 01, 2002 8:31 AM Subject: You might be a redneck Jedi if......
> You ever used the phrase, "May the Force be with y'all." > > Your Jedi robe is camouflage. > > You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder. > > You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. > > At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored. > > You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. > > You have ever had an land-speeder up on blocks in your yard. > > The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. > > Wookies are offended by your B.O. > > You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have > to wait for a commercial. > > You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling. > > Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over to the dark > side...it'll be a hoot." > > You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to > get the barbecue grill to light. > > You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder. > > You think Han Solo should wear a flannel shirt, 'cause he looks like a > little sissy in that vest. > > Your Imperial walker has a "Honk if you Love Jesus" bumper sticker > > There's a Death Star on blocks in your yard > > Princess Leia is your girlfriend. And your sister. > > C3PO is full of marital aids > > You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts > > You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through > the window. > > Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a > pretty good handle on how to treat his women. > > You've ever referred to the Empire as "them damn Yankees." > > You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. > > You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck. > > You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene. > > If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father...and your uncle" > > >
