In a message dated 10/2/2002 8:34:08 AM US Mountain Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
<< Cue: doubletake L-L-Lime Jello? >> It's a bit rewritten from the email I sent Brin. I think I still need more editing, etc. It's supposed to be as if it's read by someone who runs into a SF con's panel discussion on the Uplift universe. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------ WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! TOP PRIORITY. IMMEDIATE IMPLEMENTATION. To all Terragen Field Agents: It is absolutely and expressly forbidden for any agent at any time, and in particular at any social function that includes the serving of Terran foods, where there is the open participation of Galactic races of clans and alliances that are not TOTALLY known to Terragens as being both friendly AND not easy to bring to anger, to do the following: SERVE LIME JELLO. The penalty for serving lime Jello (Registered Earth product name) or any other gelatin dessert of a green, lime-green, yellow green, etc. color to any Galactic race not previously cleared by edict, will be IMMEDIATE ARREST without parole, and upon conviction, a FINE and/or CONFISCATION OF ASSETS, including future wages, to total no less than 500,000 credits, and a MANDATORY JAIL TERM of not less than 40 years. The DEATH PENALTY will be given, with NO DISCRETION OF THE COURT, and with the said penalty to be performed under the observation of representatives of neutral Galactic races to be selected by THE INSTITUTE FOR CIVILIZED WARFARE, for the following combination: SERVING LIME JELLO WITH MINIATURE MARSHMALLOWS. A limited explanation and conjecture follows. Just a day ago, a very simple document was delivered to Earth from the Institute for Civilized Warfare. It was short, tightly worded, and in multiple languages. These included ALL activeTerragen languages (which in other circumstances would be considered a diplomatic breakthrough). There was nothing in the way of a given explanation except that this "request" did not originate with the institute. It was forwarded to them by the Poaglisis. Now the Earth branch Library has little information on the Poaglisis. But it is known that for religious reasons, they need the sapients that they encounter to be clothed. The following is highly speculative, but it is now believed that the combination of lime Jello and white miniature marshmallows may cause one or more Galactic races to start shedding their clothes. So little is known about Galactic biology, and even less about mating and reproduction due to the Library's filters. But we think that this may be an automatic mating response. There is probably a race with an aquatic past that has a spawning pattern of reproduction, with the male of the species having an automatic and uncontrollable fertilization response that is induced by this particular combination of both color and pattern. Scientists feel that the race may exist today as being low K, or with usually only one egg (marshmallow) per mating. But in special cases of needing quick population increases, or in giving special honor to the male, the race changes to high K. [Agents are now warned not to use the term "Special K", even when dealing with breakfast cereals. --just in case.] With the current, and in many cases abrupt, change in status to Terran/Galactic politics, it is felt that the Poaglisis may be prepping us for increased social interaction. Even if the truth will never be known, we have been warned. END TRANSMISSION. >> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----- William Taylor [EMAIL PROTECTED] ------------------------------ When humor becomes too esoteric, it's like yelling "foyer" in a crowded mezinine. _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
