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http://www.bushwatch.com/hoot.htm

Song Of The Expanded Patriot Act

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list--I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for Left Wing rags--
All late-night TV talk show hosts, those irritating wags--
All peaceniks who are up on facts, and floor you with 'em flat--
All Web site commentators who've abandoned you like that--
And European leaders who on flipping birds insist--
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!
CHORUS.
He's got 'em on the list--he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be miss'd!

There's the Kurdish liberator, and the others of his race,
And the Mecca Islamist--I've got him on the list!
And the children who in Baghdad bring a tear to Ramsey's face,
They never would be miss'd--they never would be miss'd!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All temp'rate foreign leaders, every fuhrer but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who's always asking when
The next march is in Washington--she'd like to go again.
And that singular anomaly, the right-wing pacificist--
I don't think she'd be missed--I'm sure she'd not he missed!
CHORUS.
He's got her on the list--he's got her on the list;
And he don't think she'll be missed--he's sure she won't be miss'd!

And that Puerto Rican Muslim, who just now is quite contrite,
The Judicial escapist--I've got him on the list!
All other former citizens we've woken in the night--
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as--What d'ye call him--Thing'em-bob, and likewise--Never-mind,
And 'St--'st--'st--and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who--
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!
CHORUS.
You may put 'em on the list--you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed!
They'll none of 'em...be...missed!

--Burt Worm, with thanks to Gilbert and Sullivan;
 title by Politex, 02.08.03

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