Stolen from another list (and the poster had stolen it from yet *another* list):
MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Thousands of peace activists took to the streets of Minas Tirith and other cities of Middle Earth today to protest what they termed a rush to war with Mordor.
[snip]
One good parody deserves another (though too bad the list won't allow the pictures):
Tennessee Men in Fair Condition after Scuffle with Ents
SEVIERVILLE, TN (AheadOfNews.com) - A pair of self-described tree-haters remained in fair condition today at Deep Woods Medical Center after tussling with Ents in Great Smoky Mountains National Park.
Ents are large, intelligent, ambulatory trees that guard the world's remaining old-growth forests. They are described in detail in J.R.R. Tolkien's _The Lord of the Rings_.
Luther Moonie and Earl Skink told hospital authorities that a "bunch of Ents" attacked them near Baxter Creek when the two men attempted to fell a "big old tulip poplar" with a chainsaw.
"Luther fired up his Stihl," Skink said, "and was fixing to operate when this here godawful woody hand reached down and picked him up by his hair. It shook him until he squealed like my cousin Orville's pig, and then it flung him in some brambles."
Subsequently, Skink said, "a bunch of really mad Ents lit on us and drubbed us every which a way and tromped on us and rolled us around in poison ivy."
Disoriented, the two men wandered through the woods until they came to a road. A passing motorist took them to the hospital.
Both men were reported in fair condition today with scratches, bruises, multiple small cuts, poison ivy rash, and insect bites. In addition, Skink suffered a broken toe related to "kicking an Ent."
The giant trees also destroyed Skink's 1986 Ford pickup truck, parked nearby. Park Ranger Tony Beaumont reported finding "truck pieces and related residues" scattered over two acres.
"I doubt they'll try this sort of thing again," he said.
-- Ronn! :)
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